What does it feel like to be isolated from the rest of everyone? To not be able to pick up on the social norms at a normal pace? It's difficult to constantly be trying to make a concious effort to understand situations and people. Adapting to what is required and what is demanded from you in society can be quite a challenge, especially when you're an INTJ.

In my case for example, I find it extremely difficult to focus my attention on another person's feelings or intentions when I'm pondering over a particular theory, thought or idea. I just can't be bothered, well maybe difficult isn't the right word, more like it's incredibly taxing and demanding? I can't deal with both at the same time.

-Does it feel right? Is there any feeling of threat or opportunity? Does it mesh with how I see myself and the world? Do I need to change how I think about these things? Ni.

-Is it practical? Will it work? What are the costs and benefits? How will other commitments and plans be affected? Te

-Does it give me a gut level sense of discomfort or satisfaction? How will it affect other things that I value? Fi

-Is it going to be fun? What things will I be doing? Will I get immediate satisfaction, or will I be bored? Se

Only a an ignorant fool picks on Amnesty International. The people who work there and the people they support have more courage in one finger than you'll ever have in your whole body. What a complete muppet... Who else is going to fight for the rights they do? You!? Your what's called a slactivist. In other words you think i radical political act is ticking a thumbs down symbol. They're all through Africa, takes 2 seconds to find that out

Interesting... I don't think I've given enough thought in answering the questions, they are after all extremely subjective and highly controversial. I guess I'm authoritarian by nature but I'd like to view myself as a libertarian?

my childhood

cried my eyes out today.
never have i shown that much emotion.
I tried to restrain and stop myself from crying
Was no use, had no other option, they poured out.

Memories from the past relived.
I recalled my childhood
The abuse i had to endure
Ongoing fighting between the two people my life revolved around.
Confused and Misunderstood, she vented her anger on me.

I don't think i can ever forgive,
but i'm obligated to assist
Wasn't her fault, she was afraid and alone
She yearned for love and that drove her to madness
Now look at her, look at me, look at us

Psychologically scarred, never realised this was the case.
Till I ventured deep into the soul and uncovered the truth from the past.

i am truly unique. An alien. A dark star in an infinite galaxy of meaninglessness. Every action I take or do not take causes the inevitable to come closer/go further away. I have no solid rock. There is no constant but me. I have no trust in anyone but myself. And I hate myself. I am going to die, sooner moreso than later, and there's nothing I can do but worry about it.
I am a stark, cold, bitter realist. And the black coffee has gone cold. But I drink it anyway.
Isolation, loneliness, and introspection kind of rule over me now. I try to find some pleasures in the time I have left. I love music. David Bowie, Morrissey. Beck. I escape into other people's worlds. I love to read. Twain, Vonnegut. I can't handle my reality so I enter their's. I adore the dark humor. I can find just about anything funny, if only on a cosmic level. I study these people I consider geniuses, hoping to emulate them, while at the same time being painfully self-aware of the limits I have. Ignorance really would be bliss. I don't feel like I ever was young, nor had the chance to be, and it's a cold thought. And it's probably my own fault.

All I have on my mind now is time.
How it is the only thing that runs the universe, ourselves, and those which we’ll never know.
Every single second moves and we move with it. Like a pendulum on a clock. It sways and we’re in the middle, pendulum comes from the right, the tough sphere pierces us in our stomach not destroying it at all from the outside, and we lose our breathe as we are being lifted to the other side grabbing on for dear life. A rollercoaster I guess.
Right this instant. What power do I have over anything?
Everything is changing and everything is the same. Honestly, how am I still able to function?


Look me in the eye and tell me what you see?
I stare at my reflection in the mirror and all I see is the shadow of myself, an image of the past, of what I could be and what might have been. I see a burning star, slowly deteriorating, constantly expanding but we all know what comes after a supernova. In my eyes i see sorrow, fear, uncertainty, remorse and I see pain and suffering, the desire for happiness. I hold onto hope like one would hold on for dear life. I've failed constantly to understand situations and to fully grasp the concept of differentiating between dreaming and reality. It's not making mistakes which enrages me the most, it's repeating those same mistakes countlessly without giving any thought to my past actions. I'm extremely wishy-washy, but only because I don't like hurting the people dearest to me, yet I'm constantly reminded that I'm a selfish, arrogant and fearful bastard by myself and the people around me. I project a false image and aura of self confidence, only to mask the hurt and desire to be accepted. I don't want to be different, I just want to be normal. What use is confidence if it's for all the wrong reasons. What use is imagination and intelligence if I never find ways to apply them? I'm a deeply misunderstood and sad individual, and until I find someone/something to fill this voidness within me, I will forever live in misery. My personality is not my strength, it is my weakness. It's my imperfections that make me human.


mbti type: INTJ with a tendency to get very INFJ when emotionally conflicted.
socionics: INTJ / INTP
enneagram: 5w6 sx/sp/so
perfectionism/detachment

INTJs are very analytical individuals. They are more comfortable working alone than with other people, and are not usually as sociable as others, although they are prepared to take the lead if nobody else is up to the task, or they see a major weakness in the current leadership. They tend to be very pragmatic and logical individuals, often with an individualistic bent and a low tolerance for spin or rampant emotionalism. They are also commonly not susceptible to catchphrases and commonly do not recognize authority based on tradition, rank or title. Hallmark features of the INTJ personality type include independence of thought, strong individualism and creativity. Persons with this personality type work best given large amounts of autonomy and creative freedom. They harbour an innate desire to express themselves; that is to be creative by conceptualizing their own intellectual designs. Analyzing and formulating complex theories are among their greatest strengths.

I'm not a shy person nor a coward and I certainly don't lack any confidence, but I won't go out of my way to meet or reach out to people, or to initiate something unless I think that it's absolutely necessary.

Set your goals, accomplish the shit you wish to accomplish and you will see your happiness and confidence rise like never before.
Want to get girls? Feeling lonely? Fuck em. Do you. They will see your success in your own life and naturally be attracted to you.
Depressed? Feeling purposeless? Find the things you always want to-do; jot down all those to-do lists you’ve had for years and knock em out. You will feel so much better about yourself.

I like people who I can occasionally have deep conversations with, and at the same time joke around with them.
I enjoy observing people out of the corner my eye without actually looking their way.

I fear my existence because I contradict the probable. I deny the probable to be in existence, O irony of fate, the enigma of my desires! shatter the hour glass and bring quickly my demise, for I can no longer bear this heavy body and my sorrowful soul.

It's come to that point in life again where I have to make decisions and decide on what's the best method to approach my purpose of being here on this earth. Purpose here on earth? "Isn't that extremely subjective and complex to even ponder on?" you may think. But yes I have been pondering a lot on the meaning of life and existence. I don't exactly know what the 'real' life is, having spent my entire existence focused within myself but... i'm digressing..

Point is what shall I do with my life?

The Five Love Languages
Your primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results
Physical Touch: 12
Quality Time: 7
Words of Affirmation: 6
Receiving Gifts: 3
Acts of Service: 2

I fell asleep on a late night train
I missed my stop and I went round again
Why would I wanna see you now?
To fix it up, make it up somehow

Baby I'll try again, try again
Baby I die every night, every time

What I was isn't what I am
I'd change back but I don't know if I can

Still I'll try, try again, try again
Baby I die every night, every time

But I was made the way I am
I'm not a stone; I'm just a man
Lay down your arms and I will lay down mine
Rip back the time that we've been wasting

God I wish you could see me now
You'd pick me up and you'd sort me out

Baby I'll try again, try again
Baby I die every night, every time




you fixed me | Reviewer: Anonymous | 10/25/10

You never had a clue how much you fixed me when i was broken. And you will never know how much you mean to me because i missed my chance, but i will try again, until i make things right again, so you will no longer have to worry about me. when no one would even bother to look at me you came and picked me up, carried me until i could walk again... and now you will never know how much you mean to me because i missed my chance
i will try again, until i get something right.

Martha Melody Monje

Hello! So I hope you made it through the day and smiled at everyone else, just as you’d promised me earlier. :) I was in deep pensive mood so I thought I’d share with you what I was thinking after hearing the song which you posted above. I want you to know that I am really appreciative of the all the good things that you’ve said to me. It makes me feel loved and secured at the same time. I have never received so much complement from a person in a long time probably because I try blocking these thoughts off in any ways possible. I possess this really strong personality where I had reached a point to shut off myself just so I’d be able to protect my feelings. But with you, suddenly it became so different I felt vulnerable and found myself participating in another engagement again. :)

But looking at this whole “us” thing, I still sense some uncertainties in you. When you gave me the affirmation that you liked me, yes probably you were relieved, but I feel that there are still so much anxieties where I had to ask myself if you really did the right thing? Shouldn’t you just feel and accept the joy? The love? The warmth? The excitement? The pleasure? The satisfaction? The elation? The tenderness? The comfort? Well, I feel guilty that I had become sort of a “distraction” but would it have made any difference if you haven’t told me?

Dick, listen. I honestly care about you and I’d like to give you the assurance that even if I am not physically around, I am with you through good and bad. But if you think that I am causing you so much pain and apprehensions, then I need you to at least be honest with me and tell me exactly what I need to do to alleviate your confusion. Just tell me if you want me to become no longer emotionally available to you. I cannot put your priorities (your career and your future) in jeopardy just because you are feeling extremely confused. It hurts that you always tell me that you’re confused because I feel I am not able to reciprocate your need to be completely happy. Do you need some time to deal with this without me? Do you need me to shut down so you could sort though things? Just tell me and out of friendship, I’ll gladly do it for you. Well of course within myself I know that this process would hurt me, but I just want to be strong enough to survive the discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Sooner or later, everything will always be back to normal. Please just tell me what to do.

See, this is the itch of not being able to completely release yourself. You have aloooot of doubts. You can’t move forward because you’re afraid of being too involved. All I need is for you to trust me, because I trust you. But thinking about it, you have not even asked me to become exclusive with and for you so I don’t really know where to put myself in this situation haha. It would be too silly and unlikely if I just assume that something is going on between us when you have not given me the affirmation that you wanted to take things to a different level. So because this is case, I would always encourage you to go out and mingle with other people so you can meet someone much better, more ideal than me -- Someone who can be physically and emotionally available for you; someone whom you can share deep conversations with and at the same time joke around with. I’m saying this because I really want you to experience how ecstatic it is to be in love and to be loved back and if I cannot be that person (because of certain issues, as in the age gap, the distance, individual differences and so on), then definitely there is another one waiting for you.

I am attending a company event later so I’m hoping I could talk to you tomorrow? Let me know if it’s possible! If not, then we can talk another time. Please don’t be sad. I hate it when you’re sad and I can’t help but blame myself. Take care, ok? I am hoping we could both organize our thoughts and feelings so that we can be on the same page hereafter. xxx

You know, if there’s one thing I’m certain about is that I have a future ahead of me and that I ‘want’ to be someone, definitely will be. I may not be ‘someone’ that will be known globally but at least in my choice of institute or wherever my loyalty will eventually lie in. I’ve always told my friends this, especially in high school that I’m an opportunist, if there is one I’m going to seize the day and I won’t let anything get in my way, friend or family. I will abandon them if I have to, but I know deep down inside they will haunt me eventually.


-> This is where with you things change; I know that if I make a commitment to form a relationship with you, it’s going to be life long and transparent. However it’s all a blur, everything has to be changed, I need to make arrangements and plan for what is to come and how to ensure we get the most out of what we have, wherever we will be located or what we do. I adapt easily, so I have no problems changing things according to whatever the situation best fits. So when I look at Philippines, I have no bloody clue. But then again even here in NZ, I’m fairly successful with whatever little resources that I have. I take my shit seriously so please bare with me when I have this need for closure and finality.

I have my good days and I have my bad days. On good days I’m an awesome and fun person to be with, I become extremely insightful, I assist people and I generally produce work that is almost perfect. But in order to do this, I need to know what’s coming, or what is going to be in store for me. I cannot stand on the sidelines or on the fence, a decision must be made and I have to be involved. From there, I will push on for that goal unless obstacles arise that will make it impossible. I only give up, if the situation looks really bleak. Note: My definition of bleak greatly differs. I hold onto hope no matter how small or insignificant it may be.

On bad days, I frustrate myself with the smallest of details that don’t even matter at all. I get particular about certain things like, “It’s either this or that”. I become an over perfectionist till the point where I go into a slight stage of insanity. This is where I become insensitive and attack people where it hurts the most. If I’m suppressing this hatred and emotions within, my life becomes a constant battle between killing myself and looking forward. No I will never bring myself to the point of suicide, simply because I’m not stupid. And this is what frustrates me, I want to fucking die sometimes but I never see the need to end my life. Yes extremely dark thoughts don’t try and feel me.

⇒ This is where you make me feel like everyday is a bloody amazing day, with you I have this confidence that no matter what happens I have a pillar to lean on. A pillar that will always be solid and so pure. To me you’re like this carefree soul that wishes nothing but the best for people. In the face of adversities and set backs I know I can count on you to pick me up again without having to feel like all I want is to just bloody die. But by no means do I want you to always constantly make me feel good about myself; I’m not a needy person. In fact I hate people who are overly needy. ( cept you of course, I’ll do anything and everything for you)


I’m a long-range planner, I have my big picture staring at me. However the details, I don’t know.. I work on them when the time comes by. I’m at this point in my life now where I REALISE that happiness is not all about accomplishing goals and getting whatever I want, because let’s face it, things have NEVER gone according to plan for me. So what makes me think that the plan that I have initially made for myself is going to work. [Try and see me through a THINKING perspective, do not try and feel what I’m feeling, you won’t always get it right].

⇒ That being said, with you life is like an adventure, things come one at a time and it’s not helping that I’m fucking frustrated and under immense amount of pressure from school and my NT / ST friends. I need to put myself under this much pressure or my results will be average. So I tend to over think things sometime instead of enjoying the moment with you, I want to. I really really think that I’ll be much more happier and less confused when I’m actually going to be around you and be able to pour this affection that I’ve been holding back for 20 years of my life. Yes the emotions and affections are spilling out, which is why I had to tell you how I felt about you. I would have been a complete mess if I had not, and I didn’t need that especially one week before a major exam. [ which I’m glad to say I did fairly well, thanks to you ]

I don’t know if this is sufficient to explain my reasons for being ‘uncertain’ about us. There’s still a lot that I have to say and I can never fit it in a letter. I could probably write a book about my feelings for you. So it really does not help when you keep telling me to look around for other ENFPs and stuff, I’ve actually realized that im surrounded by a lot of them, and none of them come any close to you which goes to prove it’s definitely more than just a personality attraction. It goes way deeper than that, at least on my side. I appreciate the reality check that you’re trying to show me “there are better ones out there”. But I don’t know if I really want that? I’ve been having this checks constantly shoved down my mind by my friends and myself. For once, I just want to be content, live in the moment and look forward to a possibility of there being an US. In this sense, I want to trust that you trust me. I ‘LOVE’ you. I fucking do, and it scares me. I’ve never felt such an intense bond with anyone and I know that I saved all this for a reason. I haven’t asked you to be exclusive to me simply because I wanted reassurance from you, in fact I was hoping you would ask this question soon. Or else I’d become mad wondering what exactly are we?

As I said, having gone this far. Just the very fact that I’ve got you thinking about a future and I’ve got myself wondering if it’ll actually work goes to show the amount of effort I’m trying to put in just to make something magical happen.. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, with love – according to Feeling people, apparently. I actually do not like this mentality but meh… Ha-ha

I could go on actually but I think I should stop now, somethings I would like to discuss with you face to face or something like that.. But yess , I’m going crazy over you. I constantly stare at my phone waiting for a message, I wake up 2 hours extra early just to check if you’ve left a message. I think about us wherever I go, my mind’s always with you. I write poems in my head and make up ‘really cheezy silyl songs about us’ , whenever something significant strikes me, I make it a point to write it down so I can share it with you. I hate telling you this or anyone because I don’t want to come across as ‘needy’ and as overly affectionate or any of that sort. And also because I still wasn’t sure if you really felt the same intense feelings for me as I do for you. Yes trying to be noble and a strong man. ☹ Sometimes I wish I can remove this brave front that I put up for people to see and be vulnerable for once, althought I fucking hate the idea of putting myself up for everyone to criticise, cos they’ll get me wrong anway.

Stupid MBTI bullshit isn’t helping either.. just makes me confused with whether you are sincere about your feelings or it’s just the way that you are programmed, that you have to show feelings because that’s who you are. Soooo.. idk if it’s making sense but ya, fuck! And the drugs, I keep looking at different POV of the different MBTI types and I don’t know if it’s real or if I’m just imagining shit. Life’s a mess, all I want to do is be with you and shut the rest of the world, I want you in my universe. I’ve already made this space for you in my heart, would be a shame if I have to throw it all away just because my brain tells me this is a stupid thing to do.


Theoretically, LOGIC will always over ride FEELINGS.
but who knows? No one actually does.

I haven’t seen the world yet, I’m young but, I want to see it with you.

The following article by David DeAngelo still represents an old favourite of mine as it uncannily seems to describe INTj males when it comes to their Achilles Heel – initiating romantic relations.
Despite the long-range strategy for how they think a relationship will play out we seem to lack the short-range tactics for actually getting things off-the-ground in the first place. Of course I’m generalising this to all male INTj types.
Some male INTj types that I know, young and old, have proved me completely wrong, especially the ones that got “hooked up” with a partner in either an academic or work environment.
For the rest of us here’s that classic article by D. DeAngelo to indulge in… with my conclusions at the end.
Why Very Intelligent Men Fail with Women
The Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women… AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT…
I’ve been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now… and one “problem scenario” just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER… and OVER and OVER and OVER again…
…and it really amazes me.
I’m going to refer to it as “The Genius Failure Paradox”.
“The Genius Failure Paradox” is the tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I’d like to share my thoughts about it with you.
I assume that if you’ve read this far, then you see probably yourself as smarter than the average guy.
You know that you’re a little different than other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently, and thought differently than others in school…
And you’ve probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life…
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: YOU’RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people get used to being “right”, because they usually ARE right.
And when you’re RIGHT more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a key area of life:
WOMEN AND DATING.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you’ll most likely make the situation WORSE.
Of course, it’s hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success…
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women… and what to do about it.
Reason #1: They’re wrong, but they can’t or won’t see it or admit it.
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they’re WRONG?
They find a new situation… one that fits their strength. They know they’ll be right next time, so they just walk away… knowing that it won’t be long before they’re right again.
(OR they let the “problem situation” destroy them… more on that later.)
Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is THERE’S NOWHERE TO RUN AND HIDE.
There’s no quick “I’m right” around the next corner to make you feel better.
It only takes “failing” with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern… and realize that something isn’t working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good… so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success comes, it really starts to become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you’re wrong is a VERY hard thing for a “smart guy”.
Accepting that you’re not only wrong, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:
I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
Reason #2: They’re blind and arrogant.
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone “dumber” than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an “obviously less intelligent person” before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50… but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?
It’s an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you’d like to have the guide who isn’t the smartest guy around… but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals…
But now let me ask you:
If you’d like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn’t very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?
There’s something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn’t either as smart or smarter
Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this particular approach… once it’s examined closely.
If you’ve been making this mistake, then you need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.
Look around.
Learn from some “dumb” guys… and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
Reason #3: Poor Social Skills.
It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that just don’t GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.
It’s as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games… and not worth the time it would take to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of smart guys running around this planet who don’t even have “social skills” and “be a cool guy that people like” in their “MENTAL MODEL” of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that… SKILLS.
They’re not social INFORMATION.
They’re not social THEORIES.
They’re social SKILLS.
And you don’t get them by THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans… and if you don’t have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.
Reason #4: They psych themselves out.
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me…
They come up with all the reasons why everything WON’T WORK when it comes to women and dating.
They actually figure out why what they would like to do will probably fail…
They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes… and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions… which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.
THEY DON’T EVEN TRY.
Now, if you’ve thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?
It’s sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD… and success with women.
Because smart guys don’t UNDERSTAND women, and they don’t UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They’re wrong before they even start figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won’t work in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.
Reason #5: They seek only “informational solutions.”
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem… or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.
Don’t know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147.
Don’t know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women?
They want MORE INFORMATION.
They think the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE… or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life where the “get more information” strategy actually made things WORSE?
How would you even know that it was making things worse?
Now, I don’t want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It’s not.
But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn’t going to help you very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!
You need to look at the REAL problem… the ROOT of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there’s a very good chance that you have MORE than enough “information”.
Smart guys often use “more information” to distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I’ve heard this referred to as “Creative Avoidance”.
Nod silently if you’ve ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.
Good, thank you.
Reason #6: They focus on logic instead of emotion.
NEWS JUST IN: Women don’t feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?
EXACTLY!
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I’m shaking my head right now…
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that’s where THEY feel comfortable… not knowing that they’re SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a woman you’ve just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says “I don’t get it when it comes to women” and putting it on your head.
Typical “logical” conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs… discussing politics, religion, weather… and anything that has to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say “OK, so tell me something… Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys… but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?” (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you’re having an EMOTIONAL conversation.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.
Reason #7: They’re not used to the challenge of the moment.
Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.
If you’re taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers.
If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you’ve figured it out.
If you’re trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it’s fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off their “good sides” in most situations.
Not so with women…
If you don’t know what to do at every step along the way, you’ll be shut down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING “He doesn’t get it” radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the “get its” from the “don’t get its”.
And if you don’t get it, then you’re going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won’t ever KNOW that you were being tested… OR that you failed.
Smart guys aren’t used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment… and especially the “women and dating” kind.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
Reason #8: They think that doing “nice” things is the “smart way.”
OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a “smart” way of preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be “wowed”.
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner… and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.
OK, time’s up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.
But WHY?
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN’T you want to show up with her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN’T you want to talk about her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN’T you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here…
Smart guys think that they’re being CLEVER when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers… and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Right?
In their minds, they’re thinking “I’m going to be the guy who is thinking ahead… and I’m going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she loves… and she’s going to see them and like me more because of it”.
Makes sense… good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these “smart” guys make is not realizing that it doesn’t actually take a smart person to think like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman’s ass.
And guess what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he’s being such the charmer by using this “thoughtful” approach…
…and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who’s trying to MANIPULATE her.
Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
Reason #9: Always needing to be the expert.
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be “right”?
Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about… and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn’t shut their “smart mouths”?
Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again…
Smart guys don’t like to be “beginners” at ANYTHING.
They don’t like the idea of screwing up… especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this “smart guy” image of themselves… so they try to always be “The Expert” at whatever they do.
Instead of saying “Hey, you know what? I’m a beginner at this… how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?”… and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN…
…they won’t risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they’re beginners… so they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It’s OK to be a beginner.
Reason #10: They can’t deal with fear and other emotions.
A smart guy’s STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Totally stopped.
FROZEN.
And since many smart guys aren’t comfortable dealing with things they’re not good at, they just repress or RUN away from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don’t know how to deal with their emotions… or, GOD FORBID, ask for help!
Hey, I went for YEARS like this.
I know what it’s like.
But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)… if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a big favor… take the time. Take the effort.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you… it doesn’t matter.
What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.
…I think the reason why I’m so fascinated with “The Genius Failure Paradox” is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m the smartest guy on the planet…
But I don’t think mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn’t figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me that you know what I’m talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years… trying all kinds of crazy “logical” stuff… I finally got the “bright” idea to start studying guys who were “naturally” good with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same time.
I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the “naturals” did with women… and learning how they “thought” about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn’t entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept… because my logical brain just didn’t want to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them… and having the women then chase them in response.
Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces… and then watched those women become “little girls” in response… unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power…
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation… get any woman’s number I wanted anytime I wanted… date any type of woman I wanted…
…and most importantly, GET RID of that “empty” feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn’t know how to attract women.
And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of THEIR lives together.

In many cases an INTJ knows much better how another person is feeling but already at a very young age they learned to keep their mouth shut because when it comes to feelings, hardly anybody agrees. (which may result in doubt in some and ignorance in others.)


From an INTJ point of view, the way people deal with their feelings is the most irrational thing in the world. One day a certain something happens and you react in a happy way. The INTJ recognizes that and tries to replicate it to make you happy again. But for some strange reason, the next time you get upset. If you are that unpredictable a lot, INTJ's back off.

just-smith:

lookoutsideyourself:

ideasandopinions:

convertedinvader:

ideasandopinions:

convertedinvader:

ideasandopinions:

I’d just like to tell all the anti-feminist Tum/b/lr bros something: when you assume all feminists are misandric (or that the entire philosophy is misandric), you’re committing a generalization fallacy. It is not right to base your opinion of a community of billions on a community completely resigned to Tumblr. Yes, there are misandric feminists, just as there are Windows-apologetic linuxfags.

Feminism is about achieving equality between the sexes, by bringing down Patriarchy and uplifting Humanism.

I’m not assuming that all feminists are misandric. Hell, I KNOW not all are. However, a movement as a whole is defined by the sum of those involved, therefore, since so many feminists are misandric (and apparently tolerated by the reasonable minority), the movement as a whole can be considered misandric.

Right there again you are committing a generalization fallacy. How many is ‘so many’ in a movement that includes billions of men and women from countless cultures and perspectives? It’s not justifiable to determine the quality of a movement from its own praxis and implementation. You must go to the root — to theory. If you’re keen on proving the misandric nature of Feminism, look up some essential feminist readings and find it there.

I respectfully disagree. There is no point in judging feminist theory when the movement itself fails to stay true to said theory, using it as a shield against rightful criticism instead.

And how many is “so many”? Enough to infuse most “feminist” articles with misandry. When the vast majority of what’s said under the aegis of feminism is misandric, how can you expect anyone not to consider feminism as a whole misandric?

I too respectfully disagree. Members of a movement that do not comply with the theory can be said to be members in-name-only. Just as something within science that is found wrong is no longer science, ‘feminists’ expressing non-feminist sentiment (misandry here) are not feminist. A particle that does not fit the qualities of being an electron is not an electron. You must know the theory to criticize the movement. It’s only sensible.

“Enough to infuse most ‘feminist’ articles with misandry.” Now, see here, you’re jumping the gun. What feminist literature have you read that is misandric? Quote lines for me. You say ‘vast majority’, but what do you mean by that? I really hate to pick apart your word-choice, but it is important to use the right words at the right time to adequately express an idea.

Interesting discussion, though I mostly agree with ideasandopinions. I criticize feminists and feminism pretty frequently, but even I concede that misandry is not nearly as common within feminism as some seem to believe.

I think that discussions like this confuse the meanings of the term ‘misandry’.

Feminists should know better. ‘Misogyny’, though literally translated to the hatred of women, is not simply men going ‘I hate women’. Otherwise examples of misogyny would be much rarer. Instead, misogyny can be a stereotype, a double standard, or an action/policy which leaves women worse off, intentions regardless. Feminists attempt to recognise and fight misogyny in all of its forms, including those which may be less obvious.

Likewise, ‘misandry’ is not just women going ‘I hate men’. Misandry, like misogyny, can be everywhere and anywhere. Somebody expecting chivalry might not knowingly hate men or women, but they are being misandric and misogynistic. Somebody enforcing patriarchal norms may not realise that what they are doing in misandry and misogyny, but it is. You see?

So, ‘misandry in feminism’ can mean a lot more than the minority of feminists who literally do hate men, and are proud of it. This minority are a problem of their own - they are vocal, face little opposition from within the movement, and are therefore known as influential ‘feminists’. This is obviously offensive to men, and hypocritical coming from supposed egalitarians, but if nothing else these extremists are bad because they give a bad name to real feminism, which suffers as a result. Fight them at every turn.

Although man-hating radicals are bad enough, the problem of feminist misandry is a much deeper one. It concerns the vast majority of feminists, the moderates, the ones who would never describe themselves as a ‘man-hater’, and who will claim to fight sexism in all of its forms.

But it’s misandry when they exclude men from discussions on gender equality, as if ‘women’s issues’ with men weren’t ‘men’s issues’ as well.

It’s misandry when they use ‘male privilege’ as a way to silence male viewpoints as invalid, without actually acknowledging the logical value of any arguments made.

It’s misandry when they use ‘male privilege’ to speak over male suffering as unimportant, as if the world is a ‘safe space’ for men, and thus unintentionally suppress the voices of male victims.

It’s misandry when they use ‘male privilege’ without accepting that they have an equal and opposite ‘female privilege’.

It’s misandry when they accuse a man of ‘mansplaining’, invalidating his point simply because they don’t want to be corrected, as if men can hypocritically never be right where equality is concerned.

It’s misandry when they blame men for misogyny, as if sexist men consciously created the natural patriarchy and its gender roles which hurt men just as much.

It’s misandry when they say misandry doesn’t exist, or laugh about it in a victim’s face.

It’s misandry when they say misandry is just a side effect of misogyny, and that male sufferers are ‘confused’, and the real oppressors.

It’s misandry when they assume that women can never be sexist, whereas all men are sexist whether they know it or not.

It’s misandry when they talk about ‘Nice Guys (tm)’ and other negative male behaviours, without realising that these behaviours are equally as evident in women.

It’s misandry when they talk about issues that negatively affect women without considering how they negatively affect men, and therefore treat them as ‘women’s issues’.

It’s misandry when they talk about issues which negatively affect men, and either reframe them as only affecting women or act as if they are some ‘privilege’ that men should be thankful for.

It’s misandry when they say that only misogyny can be sexism, or relegate misandry to ‘benevolent sexism’, as if it’s only bad when it affects women.

It’s misandry when they perpetuate the sexist stereotype that women are always victims, and men are always the oppressor.

It’s misandry when they blame sexist men for any and all discomforts they face in their life, many of which are not sexist at all, or are discomforts which men face too.

It’s misandry when they ignore men to such an extent that they stop being pro-equality, and begin just being pro-women.

It’s misandry when they are part of a ‘women’s movement’, exclude male ‘allies’ from having power in that movement, and then act as if it is the only movement we need for equality.

It’s misandry when they suppress the masculist movement as unnecessary, necessarily sexist, or a joke, and derail all discussions on men’s rights.

It’s misandry when they use false statistics and facts, for example on domestic violence, to create a negative depiction of men, whilst discouraging male survivors from speaking up.

It’s misandry when they suggest that all men are potential rapists, or that only men should be taught not to rape, or that only men rape.

It’s misandry when they suggest that only women can be rape victims, and that only women should be protected from rape, and only support women speaking up against it.

It’s misandry when they play the sex card on issues where it isn’t needed, as if men can never make the better argument, and must always have an ulterior motive or be blinded by privilege, whereas women aren’t.

It’s misandry when they suggest that women and feminists are immune to criticism, and automatically name-call anybody who disagrees with them, or treat all anti-feminists or masculists as misogynists and rape-apologists simply out of bigotry.

It’s misandry when they think that ‘misogynist’ and ‘rape apologist’ are the same thing, or that certain positions on abortion or promiscuity are necessarily misogynistic, when they may be benign, whilst ignoring all positions which disadvantage men.

It’s misandry so often that I encounter it every day as a male feminist, and struggle to find feminists who don’t do most of the above. There’s your ‘vast majority’.

As for judging the movement on the behaviour of those invoking its name, you have a point; but when such a bulk of members behave in such ways, it’s hard not to take that as a reflection on the label itself. Feminism would be nothing without feminists, and it evolves with them. They are, after all, its voice.

It is easy to simply say ‘well they weren’t a real feminist’ when somebody slips up, but that is far from satisfactory. Nobody is perfect, and so under this method nobody is a feminist. I can’t criticise what Christianity has done in the past, because if they did wrong then they ‘weren’t real Christians’. Nobody is. I can’t complain about oppressive Communist regimes, because they probably ‘weren’t real Communists’. It’s a tempting cop-out, but it doesn’t hold up when applied thoroughly.

As for looking at the fundamentals of the movement, nothing could be more fundamental than the name itself. Feminism. A woman’s movement. Feminism is based on the assumption that women are oppressed and men aren’t, an assumption which has proved very harmful to men, and continues to make a great deal of difficulty for men’s rights movements. There is a way around this, in calling yourself both a feminist and a masculist, but the majority of feminists don’t do that. The majority of feminists, and the sole beacon of feminism that they cling to, are therefore subtly misandric. Until they embrace masculism - or ditch both for the simpler label of ‘egalitarian’ - that is.

The Observer (the Five)

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

Be independent, not clingy.
Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
don't come on like a bulldozer.
Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.
What I Like About Being a Five

standing back and viewing life objectively
coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
not being caught up in material possessions and status
being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Five

being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally
Fives as Children Often

spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
have a few special friends rather than many
are very bright and curious and do well in school
have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Fives as Parents

are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions


The Peacemaker (the Nine)

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
What I Like About Being a Nine

being nonjudgmental and accepting
caring for and being concerned about others
being able to relax and have a good time
knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe
What's Hard About Being a Nine

being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
being confused about what I really want
caring too much about what others will think of me
not being listened to or taken seriously
Nines as Children Often

feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
tune out a lot, especially when others argue
are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
Nines as Parents

are supportive, kind, and warm
are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective


Type 1 Type 2 Type 3 Type 4 Type 5 Type 6 Type 7 Type 8 Type 9
5 1 5 3 7 1 4 3 7

i feel retarded and all alone

I try to find the path less travelled by, but most days the path isn't even there to begin with.

I had to put myself through so much misery just to obtain this worthless piece of shit, was it really worth all the struggle and self inflicted pain i caused myself? All the hate that i dissipated, the manipulation and deception, living in isolation within the self imposed prison in my head, the sacrifices i had to endure. Ignoring and putting down those around me who showed the slightest bit of concern about my welfare and emotional well being? What a fucking selfish, self narcissistic obnoxious bastard. Was it really worth all that trouble? Yes I hate my existence but what i hate the most is wanting to not hate my existence. Oh the irony. The signs of a troubled mind. FUCK FUCK FUCK! I fucking hate everyone. and FUCK YOU TOO. No, i'm not suicidal but i wish i was.

written on August 23 2011 9:43PM +8GMT 1:44AM +12GMT

I have met plenty of interesting people in my time. As an ExxP, I seek strive for meeting and getting to know people of different cultures, styles, personalities, ways to see the world. BUT... the most interesting people I have ever come in contact with have all been INTJs. Just realizing they were INTJs was exhilarating!

INTJs are fascinating. They are. It's not just the depth, the brilliance, the structure, the interest in things that are actually interesting and relevant (!), it's them on the whole: the mindblowing, incredibly rare combination of elements, flaws and all.

You see, the connection between mature ENFPs and INTJs who share similar values and interests is in a league of its own. Nothing compares. Ever.

That said, I have been in a serious relationship with an INTJ only once. It was the most intense and enriching experience of my life. And it also destroyed me to pieces when it ended. Much as it pains me to admit it, I can't blame him for it. We ended as 'friends', but when you live something as intense as what we had, staying in touch is the last thing you need: it doesn't allow you to heal. I still think of him sometimes, wonder if he is happy, if he thinks of me.

... and I'm rambling. Sorry.

What I'm trying to say is: even if it ended, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Yes, yes I would.

M&M&M

Afraid, that's what I initially felt. I didn't want to get any closer because I hated dealing with emotions; they were too complex and confusing for me. I dream allot yes but when it comes to serious situations, I focus on logic. This is the barrier.

When I first saw you, I thought to myself, wow not the average lot my mum usually brings home. Nevertheless I didn't pay you any mind, I focused on my gaming and was content with living in the current moment. Never did I think you'd make such an impact in my life. When I was asked to help you with your iPod, I did so willingly because I sincerely from the bottom of my heart liked helping people out. Never did I think I'd actually imagine doing everything I possibly can for you. That smile on your face when I told you about installous and all the amazing freebies, I was perplexed and astounded at how easily you could be happy about something so trivial and easy it registered my head as 'so simple'. Never did I thought, I would ever have the possibility / chance of making your life happy. You asked for my Facebook, I contemplated telling you; I didn't want someone I didn't know intruding into my personal space. After all I was still recovering from a heartbreaking year. Never did I think I was sub consciously creating a space for you in my melting stone cold heart.

You have a 6th sense with your ability to read people's feelings and understand them, however I could tell you couldn't do the same with me. I imagine you thought there was something different about this one, he's unreadable, I was strong, rigid and emotionless at times I imagine you might have felt hurt. For that I'm sorry. I read you well, you were different. I haven't met much people like you before. Only a few, and I tend to block them out as soon as I understand what's going on. I did the same with you; at least I tried really hard to. I took a step back, I had to, I had to analyze what was going on and I tried as hard as I could to ignore you but I could not. My assessment of the situation yielded both negative and positive results, you were an awesome candidate you'd fit the bill but there was so much standing in between us. My heart grew softer that day but my mind toughened up. I told myself that I was silly for behaving this way and constantly reminded myself that this is not right, this is not right.

You were so hard to resist, that constant cheerful smile on your face, your upbeat enthusiastic approach to the things I had to say. I didn't know how to react, I had dreams of you lots of them in one of them I dreamt I wont the lottery (which you told me to buy on fb back in Dec) and I went around the world with you. I woke up in the morning thinking to myself, what the heck man, what a weird dream. I tried to pass it off as something that I would do with any other female that I had taken a liking to. Didn’t work.

Then we met again for the second time, god you looked stunning that night in your pink dress, grinning from ear to ear. I walked out of my room, not knowing what to do; you exclaimed, "I'm here!" You had me in a headlock. I had no idea how to react but I liked it, you made me feel good. When you brought me to that cafe, I was thinking to myself what am I doing, here I am a 19 year old hanging out with a bunch of grown ups, worst still they were my mum's friends (mind you I thought you were in your 20s (24 - 28). I enjoyed it; I admired your excellent qualities and your friendly nature. Most of all I admired your intelligence, something that I scarce in most people. That night, I dreamt of you vividly once again, the text you sent me asking if I had a good time, heck yes I did. I wanted to tell you that it was one of the best times I had in a long while.

Next day was it? Or the day after you invited me over. Was thinking hmm, okay that'd be cool. You introduced your cousins to me and I went in there with the mentality that they'd be around the same age as me. I was in for a shock. It felt awkward afterwards, terribly awkward.. Again, I suck at social situations and I was with my cousin, who clearly wasn't helping the situation. I left that night, extremely tired mentally, not physically. That was my introverted part of me; I couldn't deal with staying there too long I had to leave. I went back home that night and again I thought of you before I went to bed. Again you invited me over the next day, I declined because I had to recuperate my energy and make sense of what was going on. This was when I started realizing the actuality of the situation. I got depressed and started tearing as I talked to you from the 2nd floor of my shitty house with a horrible Internet signal. I wanted bad to be where you are but I felt so afraid, dazed and confused. I told myself I wish I could surround myself with people who cared, you had such a loving family and I was perplexed by your single status. Surely a woman like you would be rolling around with a man who truly deserves you.

The morning we left for Legazpi, I blocked myself from everyone in the car, I tried to disassociate myself by retreating to my comfort zone, the music in my head. I controlled myself but deep down I was crumbling, I wanted to stay longer and spend more time with you. Nay, not possible it was my future or you, I had to pick one. I stared outside while we had lunch, all sorts of images running through my head, wished someone would just appear with a Lamborghini and whisk me away to the airport. You looked at me when my mum brought up; I think it was my mum, something about marriage. That’s when I knew; you had a soft spot for me. I started panicking, said something about 30. You looked at me the entire time, while I tried to avoid your gaze.

Then came the infamous iNTJ - ENFP lock. You hugged me, probably the first time someone did that, at least with that intensity. My mum was around and so was Jap, I didn’t know how to react ha-ha. I felt calm and relaxed and I hated to leave you, which was why I texted you for a good bit before I left. Given the same opportunity, I would have texted immediately and probably non-stop. (-Zzz Starting to wonder if this was a good idea just writing this.)

I came back to Singapore, heart broken and home sick. I yearned to see you again, I missed you so much. I teared a couple of times, spent most of my time in isolation pondering over what could possibly be happening to you, what you were doing and whether you felt the same way. I was falling so deep and so hard into a well, with walls that high it was hard to climb out. I'm different; I climbed it, hard and long, occupied myself with friends and forced myself to shut you out of my life. Still, I sent you many songs, it's what I do when I like someone, I do something practical I try and make their lives easier, efficient or happier. In your case, music. Remember that song I sent you? My favorite book - Stars. "You are the anchor that holds me, that is why we'll always make it, how I know your face all the ways you move, you come in I can read you, you're my favorite book. All the things you say, the way you shift your eyes I never knew there was someone to make me come alive" You were literally my favorite book, I empathized with you.

 I deleted you and everyone else Melanie, Jap etc. off my Facebook. - Not because I had no confidence, I have ALOT of confidence; I just can't deal with feelings. Too much hassle, too much work. I felt bad afterwards; I didn't want to shut you off just like that. So I created another account and kept all of you there. It was a good reason though, my friends were finding out in particular my NTs and NFs, and they were suspicious asking me who you were, stuff like that. Damage control time.

Still I kept in touch with you, talked to you. I was aware that we could never be together (logically it's still possible). I kept telling myself reasons why it won't work, and how weird things would be between our families and friends. It's the sort of soap opera you only see in films, never in real life. I refused to believe this was happening to me. I wanted you soooo hard. But I didn't wanted to hurt you, I wanted you to be happy and I guess that was really only what I wanted, I didn't mean to lead you. I just wanted to make you feel better; I was foolish and retarded for confusing you. But you were confusing me as well; I didn't know exactly what you wanted. 

Deciphering your behavior became hard, it still is hard. It was hard for me to believe that I was different than the others you interacted with. Which means I wanted you to be pretty clear about me being special (if you thought I was). I needed a lot of reassurance. I observed your behavior and wondered if you were reliable, do you follow through with actions? I didn't want to be misleading either. The problem was you exhibit much of the same behavior to everyone, because you probably like everyone. I was skeptical of that and it made me feel slightly unappreciated when you share intimate stuff with everyone when I thought I’m the only one you'd disclose something to. (You didn't really disclose much actually)

-Scientific Approach –

ENFPs also have this almost psychic ability to read people, and INTJs give very little information for the outside observer. What this means is that ENFPs are one of the only types to actually pick up on the importance of the few subtle clues INTJs do give off. It’s actually a little alarming at first. They notice INTJs, and not only that, they find them incredibly interesting. Much like an INTJ is constantly searching for things they find intellectually stimulating, ENFPs are always looking for people they find challenging. It’s the kind of puzzle they like to solve, and an INTJ fits the bill perfectly.

So what does this mean in a practical sense? The ENFP will make the INTJ talk — they might even become downright social when it comes to their ENFP — and the INTJ will make the ENFP think. Their similar thought processes make conversation incredibly easy, and they bring out the best in each other. It’s just a sort of magical, instant understanding that’s incredibly difficult to find, especially for INTJs.

I hope I haven’t lost your attention but these past few days I’ve been exceptionally annoyed at myself. You in particularly have been on my mind, I’ve been losing focus in school, skipping work time for research time into you and coming up with all sorts of reasons and theory for why you do the things you do. I found out, why I was behaving this way and it’s because I really really really really like you. It’s definitely more than just a crush, definitely not lust. I want things to go at a normal pace and I don’t want you to be afraid or me, last thing I need is to lose your friendship. I’ve been hurt once; I don’t want to be hurt again. I think I’ve genuinely developed extremely strong feelings for you, on a level that I have never experienced before. You drive me crazy with delight, boosting my happiness levels and making me feel as high as a kite. It’s like ecstasy, but I’m constantly plagued by our differences.

If I don’t tell you this, I fear I’ll fall into a relapse of what happened last year and lose my lead for the Dux title. Please tell me if we can sort this out. I just want to help you out that’s all. I don’t expect anything else or anything more.  It’s been months and I still feel pain. It’s hard to cope with it, I’ve been doing it in all sorts of ways; some good, some very very bad. Rationalization, numbing myself, drinking lying all that sort of stuff, denial especially. I’m desperately trying to find closure in a situation that feels so fucking unfair but fixable. I truly honestly don’t believe I’ll ever find someone like you again, but I know that’s not being rational. Again, emotions are clouding my vision and ability to think. It’s so hard to be an optimist when I’ve always been a realist, I feel so jaded. Hopefully explaining this will make me feel better, find closure or see the beginning of your happiness.

It’s sort of like a noble thing that I do, I have this strong need to potray a confident image outwards, which I do possess, just that as I mentioned before, when it comes to emotions, I crumble. I lose control and you’re the perfect type of person to complement me, and I complement you.

But yeah, I did alot of stuff that I’d rather much like to tell you personally than in this letter that made me realize alot about your behavior and mine. We're all human beings and there's a certain order we follow when choosing why we fit with someone. I guess the main reason why you couldn't find the perfect guy was because you might have been searching in all the wrong places or that he might be doing the same thing I’m doing.

‎"Eventually the fast text message responses will become slow. The long conversation will cut short. The attention they give you will become neglected. The comfort they give you will become something awkward. The time they have for you will become non existent. The feeling of being close to them will become distant."

I'm looking to make a big list of all the weird little things an INTJ does to show they like you. I'm only looking for stuff that's kind of particular to INTJs though-- so, for example, offering to buy you a drink is not a particularly INTJ trait.

There can be contradictions in the list too-- INTJs are complex people.

I'll start. The format is this:
An INTJ might like you if:
...they're ignoring you on purpose.
...they're noticing your existance.
...they're being particularly nice towards you.
...they're being particularly mean to you.
...they criticize you a little too much.
...they interrupt their reading/writing/drawing/studying to talk to you.
...they pretend to be interested in the intellectually inferior interests you non-INTJ might have.
...they ask to do the Myers-Briggs test on you.
...they tell you you're probably an INTJ (a compliment of the highest order.)




Before I begin, I must say that this is just a general run though of how INTJ might behave in a romantic situation. This is by no means scientific. It's just the ramblings of an INTJ who has the pleasure and pain of interacting with other INTJs personally and professionally.

So how can you tell if an INTJ is interested in you?

I've organised the information into stages. Not every INTJ goes through these stages, nor do they have to follow this particular order....

Stage 1: Observation

When an INTJ first discovers that he/she is interested in you, his/her 1st reaction will be to draw back. This will manifest itself in different ways. He/she will treat you as if you are invisible and possibly ignore you, perhaps even to the point of rudeness. This is because feelings are confusing to the INTJ and you, as his/her object of interest, elicit feelings that the INTJ is not accustomed to dealing with. Therefore the first reaction is to take a step back and evaluate the situation, particularly these reactions that (annoyingly) the INTJ (who usually is quite collected), does not seem to have control over. Better adjusted INTJs may interact with you as they normally do. Do not be fooled by this apparent lack of interest. The INTJ is usually absorbing whatever information he/she can about you. It's what we do. If something strikes our fancy, we become experts in it. Any interaction during this stage will be awkward and stilted and you might come away with the impression that the INTJ doesn't really like you.

So indicators at this stage are a little hard to read. So there'd be an awkward lack of interest or the INTJ will go about their regular business but will always be 'tuned in' to you and what you're saying/doing. After all, we're masters of stealth....you can't really tell when we're listening and when we aren't.



Stage 2: Evaluation

In this stage, the INTJ may initiate contact. This can be either direct or indirect. You might find them spending more time around you and they might try to draw you into a conversation, ask you questions to try and get to know you, basically. Don't expect the usual drivel like: How's the weather? What d'you do over the weekend?, etc.... because remember... we cannot abide small talk. Intellectual compatibly is pretty high on an INTJ's list so this is when they gauge whether you 'make the cut. INTJs choose partners just like they choose anything else.... with care. We do the research, weight the pros and cons and then make a decision.... and if the decision is negative, its fairly easy for us to move on. This is not because we are nanomorphic mimetic poly-alloy cyborgs... its because we've assessed a potential partner or relationship and have concluded that it's a waste of time.

So indicators here are, you'll find the INTJ interacting with you more than they normally would in comparison to other classmates/colleagues or acquaintances. Time is important to the INTJ, especially time alone...so if an INTJ is spending time with you rather than writing a random program or reading a complicated book, it's a sure fire way of telling he/she is interested.

Stage 3: Action

When and how an INTJ will make his/her feelings known varies greatly. Some may come right out and say it (expect something more on the lines of a feasibility analysis rather than a mushy declaration of undying love) others might just find themselves 'falling into' a relationship. Signs that an INTJ is really interested in you is when he/she might do things that they wouldn't generally do, but that you find important. Say your band is playing at a pub, he'd/she'd attend even though he/she may not necessarily enjoy going to one. Bear in mind though, you sometimes might have to spell it out for the INTJ.
INTJs revel in optimising things. So an INTJ will show his/her affection by doing practical things for you.... like upgrading your comp. or mapping out the best route to work. Efficiency is something we value highly and by making things more efficient for you, is how we show we care.

So, is he/she interested?

Bitch, don't even.

Stupid fucking coward.

Even when I try to make amends (or whatever), you just shrug me off.

You give me shit for not caring, and not trying?

Well, look who’s not trying now.

You call me a hypocrite about judging people but I hate being judged…

actually, let’s clarify that first:

I don’t judge people; I’ve spent countless hours observing people’s behavior which, combined with my intuition (The N in INTJ, hurr durr), makes it easy to see what kind of person someone really is. I don’t just base things off of superficial qualities.

And for the second part…

I don’t like being judged, because it’s exactly what I described above: people base their half-assed opinions by what I look like. Scroll down the page and you’ll see that most of the questions (or lack there of) are asking why I ‘dress like a boy’ or that I’m ‘mean and scary’.

Bitch, you haven’t even scratched the surface.

Also, I’d like to address, since there was that (non)question, mentioning my constant bringing-up of the fact that I’m an INTJ…

I take that shit very seriously, because it’s probably the best description of my personality that one can get without actually talking to me.

So instead of saying that it’s just bullshit, why don’t you look it up?

I will keep bringing it up if you try to belittle or berate me for my actions in any way, so regardless of what you call it, it’s what I am.

And frankly, as INTJs make up approximately 1-3% of the world’s population, I’d say that makes me pretty damn awesome, not to mention, superior. Deal with it.

Now, where was I…

Ah yes.

You call me a hypocrite because I judge people, and even though you’ve known me for [insert time frame here], that doesn’t mean a thing.

Funny enough, I think the only person that I’ve ever met (so far) that completely understands who I am is my mother.

Why?

Because she’s an INTJ too.

We always end up talking about how we like being alone and don’t like the fact that my sister constantly needs to be around people.

So before you don your ‘holier-than-thou’ pseudo-identity, remember that no matter how smart you think you are, you don’t know me.

Chances are, you never will.

Why?

Because you just give up after [insert time frame here], because you’ve come to the ever-so-educated conclusion that I’m selfish, insensitive, and all that junk.

Maybe I just seem that way because I’m not a simple little fucker like you want me to be.

If you can’t deal with that, well, as everyone says,

It’s your loss.

Well the question I think you’re asking is which personality type in the most compatible with the INTJ. That would be the ENFP.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Extroverted? Feeling? Are you kidding me right now?” I was equally disbelieving at first, but let’s start with the facts.

INTJ Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Thinking
Tertiary: Introverted Feeling
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing

ENFP Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

We are attracted to personalities that share the same dominant function (in this case, Intuition,) but use it in a different way. ENFPs use all the same functions as INTJs, in almost the same order, but attitudes of those functions (introverted vs. extroverted) are switched, so they think in very similar patterns but about very different things.

ENFPs also have this almost psychic ability to read people, and INTJs give very little information for the outside observer. What this means is that ENFPs are one of the only types to actually pick up on the importance of the few subtle clues INTJs do give off. It’s actually a little alarming at first. They notice INTJs, and not only that, they find them incredibly interesting. Much like an INTJ is constantly searching for things they find intellectually stimulating, ENFPs are always looking for people they find challenging. It’s the kind of puzzle they like to solve, and an INTJ fits the bill perfectly.

So what does this mean in a practical sense? The ENFP will make the INTJ talk — they might even become downright social when it comes to their ENFP — and the INTJ will make the ENFP think. Their similar thought processes make conversation incredibly easy, and they bring out the best in each other. It’s just a sort of magical, instant understanding that’s incredibly difficult to find, especially for INTJs.

ENTPs are also very well suited for INTJs, because their functions are Ne Ti Fe Si (identical to INTJs but opposite attitude,) however, since they’re both Thinking types, it’s difficult for them to connect on an emotional level. They’ll connect brilliantly in every other way, but since neither are Feeling types, they’ll both circle away from emotional situations. They’ll get there eventually, given enough time, but it won’t be as instant or easy as with an ENFP.

As far as who has the most in common, that would obviously be a fellow INTJ. INTJs rarely team up with each other, however, since neither is the type to instigate a social situation, and they don’t play well with others.

Which type adores the INTJ most? In my experience, that’s ISFJs. This rarely works out well, though (not that it can’t. One of my best friends is an ISFJ.) ISFJs get a major case of hero worship around INTJs, and INTJs are just narcissistic enough to let the ISFJ stroke their ego. INTJs have a certain intensity that draws the ISFJ in. To the ISFJ, the INTJ is that smooth, debonair, I-wear-my-sunglasses-at-night action hero. They have a quiet confidence and control over their emotions that certain, less secure ISFJs envy.

The problem is, INTJs are not masters over their emotions; they just don’t experience emotion the same way Feeling types do. The ISFJ will enter the relationship thinking that if they just stick around long enough, if they just try hard enough, then they’ll eventually break through to the INTJs warm, gooey center.

Now, INTJs are many things, but warm and gooey are not among them. Underneath their cool, calm exterior is simply a cool, calm interior. Their emotions are just a small chip on their massive hard drive. ISFJs will get frustrated and think that the INTJ is stubbornly refusing to open up to them. They will take this personally. Either that, or they’ll assume the INTJs shallow emotions are the result of some sort of psychological damage and insist that the INTJ needs help.

Because INTJs are bad at predicting the emotional responses of others, and since the ISFJ has strong emotional reactions, but is rarely forthcoming with the details, the INTJ will hurt the ISFJ’s feelings without ever realizing it, and won’t understand why their ISFJ is suddenly angry and passive-aggressively sniping at them.

In turn, the INTJ will become incredibly frustrated by the fact that their ISFJ, because of their introverted nature and the tendency of Feeling types to use veiled language, won’t just say what they’re thinking (“No, you said ‘we’re out of milk.’ If you wanted me to pick some up on the way home you should have asked me to pick some up on the way home!”)

That said, any type can have a healthy, satisfying relationship with any other type. You just have accept them for who they are, not who you would like them to be.



INTJs are very independent. We like engaging in a good argument, especially when the other person can express their opinions intelligently. Other people are sometimes threatened by our opinions, and we can come off as critical or condescending. INTJs are frequently high achievers. We thrive in environments where we are intellectually challenged and our work is fairly evaluated. The flip side is that we often stress ourselves out over meeting the impossibly high standards we’ve set for ourselves. We’re often perfectionists, and this can create a lot of stress and feelings of self-doubt. Breaking through an INTJ’s shell can often seem difficult for other people, so close friendships and relationships can be a challenge. INTJ females, in particular, can be very intimidating to the opposite sex because we place such a high value on intelligence and independence.



I hate when my family and friends think it’s a bad thing that I’m “un-sociable.” Um, no. I just don’t like talking to people when there is nothing to talk about. Small talk makes me itch. “But how will you make new friends if you don’t make an effort to talk to people?!” I have friends, thank you very much. I’m not dying from lack of social interaction. And besides, the majority of people my age are…well… :|




The Mastermind (INTJ) is very focused as well, but more on an internal vision. They are good at solving problems and like to work on tough intellectual puzzles. They are often led into technical positions such as scientific researcher, design engineer, environmental planner. The developing field of genetics benefits from their intensity as does the field of medicine. In education they are most often found at the college and university level. In the professions, they may be a lawyer, a business analyst, or strategic planner. Some have a strong artistic/creative bent and may become an artist, inventor, or designer. Whatever they do, they do it with intensity. Says Kim, “I am constantly teaching myself something new in order to solve the problems that I encounter. My husband leaves me alone when he sees that I am caught in what he calls my “Thinking Time.” I’m unwinding knots even in my sleep.”



“Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.” (Anyone who has seen me try to buy anything knows this.)

Damn Fucking Straight.





Does your INTJ like you?

Fuckin’ wow.

I’ve never felt so objectified in my entire life.

“Well, you don’t like me as more that a friend, so we just won’t be friends at all, k?”

That makes sense, doesn’t it?

Here’s a little lesson for you god damn motherfucking KIDDIES out there.

Here’s my list of ways to tell if an INTJ likes you (And if they don’t)

If they give you any positive attention whatsoever, you can consider them your friend; if they mock you in a way that’s intentionally hurtful, and in a way that makes everyone else laugh at you, they probably don’t like you.
If they disregard your flaws, especially if you’re really fucking irritating about how you’re better than everyone (Including the INTJ), then they might consider you a close friend; if they inform you of this flaw every time you’re within close vicinity, they probably don’t like you whatsoever.
If they come out of their mind when you start talking or because they have an interesting idea they want to share, and proceed to pay attention to you no matter what, they probably like you a lot; if they just say “uh huh” or nod whenever you’re droning on about your shitty life, don’t confuse that with interest. They’re just being polite.
If you ask if they like you as more than a friend and they tell you that they don’t feel like telling you, they probably don’t. If they say anything like that, don’t bring it up again, ever. You will piss them off, and that will ruin any chance you may have had with them, since you called them selfish and blamed your insecurities. Fucking baby.

-

Again, that’s the short version. Be grateful that I shared at all.

enfp depression

3 minutes right after feeling heavily fucking depressed about an epiphany. Had to record the moment, for future analysis. If only a picture would reveal a deeper exploration of the mind.
It's like an onion, layers and layers of knowledge hidden deep away within my subconcious and everyday I discover something great about myself, balanced by an extremely negative view of the world i operate within my head.

Don't get me wrong, this year's been amazing I've learnt so much from being away from people. It's incredible, like i'm finally recharging after years of being drained and used. I can only ever be myself when no one else is around. It's the only time there is no risk of intimidating anyone.

Why? i don't know why that is, when i'm forced to be within a group of people and deal with a conversation I rarely say anything, instead I just stand and stare nodding in agreement/disagreement. People find it weird or strange. I understand I'm hard to talk to, I prefer to talk about something relevant. If it's a must it has to be something which can lead to an intense debate or argument instead of small talk. I have no interest in what people have to say about their stupid observations. I don't have much to say, the topic eventually dies fast and it gets extremely akward to the point where i'd rather not have said anything at all.

I move around with a "stay the fuck away from me" expression on my face without realizing it. It's more to do with the fact that I'm always deep in thought and less because I always consciously think "don't talk to me". People often look at me and think i'm lowering their self image during our encounter; apparently i appear to be radiating signals of "silent criticism", as if i'm picking them to pieces inside my head, and without mercy. -

iNteresting, observation - I seem to be better able to express myself under tremendous amounts of pressure and self controlled emotions. To begin with, my epiphany had nothing to do with me, but more of someone I was thinking about. Look how far I've strayed in a bid to release all these pent up frustrations within me. Sure I've got a blog that no one reads, what's the point? It's become more of my notebook where i keep notes I've taken an interest to. i don't even make it a point to allow people within me. And the only person I know that's holding the key to unlocking me isn't who I thought would have been.

took me 4 years to finally open myself up to my friend, an ENTP. Yet I don't even consider this person my bestfriend, no this is not who i was thinking about, just thought i'd mention it.

I think about things i really don't want to know. It's really random.
Sometimes I feel like a little lost child, sometimes I feel like the chosen one and Sometimes i wonder why I was ever born.

(25 minutes afterwards, lol shit i've written an entire self analysis, lol i'll probably delete this for fear of exposing myself to people. Being anonymous is good sometimes.)
yes i feel much better now after getting all that out.

Another thing which the Myers Briggs Type Indicator will teach is to just pay more attention to people and their personality. When you try to read a person you are paying close attention to them, you're trying to fit every action into the mbti theory by considering the "why" behind the action. This will really improve your awareness of personality. I can remember I was asked to say something bad and something great about all my friends a couple of years ago, and I just was unable to do that. Nowadays I can make whole lists of strengths and weaknesses of the people I know. I think I know their value's and how they use them. I think I know their identity and views of life. I'm sometimes wrong, but at least I'm aware and trying. In other words I went from people blind to a human behavior analyzer all thanks to the awareness Myers Briggs gave me.

Another thing what no feeler would do is argue about something serious for fun, when you see somebody do that you know it´s very likely that they are a thinker.