The Observer (the Five)

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

Be independent, not clingy.
Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
don't come on like a bulldozer.
Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.
What I Like About Being a Five

standing back and viewing life objectively
coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
not being caught up in material possessions and status
being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Five

being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally
Fives as Children Often

spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
have a few special friends rather than many
are very bright and curious and do well in school
have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Fives as Parents

are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions


The Peacemaker (the Nine)

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
What I Like About Being a Nine

being nonjudgmental and accepting
caring for and being concerned about others
being able to relax and have a good time
knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe
What's Hard About Being a Nine

being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
being confused about what I really want
caring too much about what others will think of me
not being listened to or taken seriously
Nines as Children Often

feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
tune out a lot, especially when others argue
are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
Nines as Parents

are supportive, kind, and warm
are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective


Type 1 Type 2 Type 3 Type 4 Type 5 Type 6 Type 7 Type 8 Type 9
5 1 5 3 7 1 4 3 7

i feel retarded and all alone

I try to find the path less travelled by, but most days the path isn't even there to begin with.

I had to put myself through so much misery just to obtain this worthless piece of shit, was it really worth all the struggle and self inflicted pain i caused myself? All the hate that i dissipated, the manipulation and deception, living in isolation within the self imposed prison in my head, the sacrifices i had to endure. Ignoring and putting down those around me who showed the slightest bit of concern about my welfare and emotional well being? What a fucking selfish, self narcissistic obnoxious bastard. Was it really worth all that trouble? Yes I hate my existence but what i hate the most is wanting to not hate my existence. Oh the irony. The signs of a troubled mind. FUCK FUCK FUCK! I fucking hate everyone. and FUCK YOU TOO. No, i'm not suicidal but i wish i was.

written on August 23 2011 9:43PM +8GMT 1:44AM +12GMT

I have met plenty of interesting people in my time. As an ExxP, I seek strive for meeting and getting to know people of different cultures, styles, personalities, ways to see the world. BUT... the most interesting people I have ever come in contact with have all been INTJs. Just realizing they were INTJs was exhilarating!

INTJs are fascinating. They are. It's not just the depth, the brilliance, the structure, the interest in things that are actually interesting and relevant (!), it's them on the whole: the mindblowing, incredibly rare combination of elements, flaws and all.

You see, the connection between mature ENFPs and INTJs who share similar values and interests is in a league of its own. Nothing compares. Ever.

That said, I have been in a serious relationship with an INTJ only once. It was the most intense and enriching experience of my life. And it also destroyed me to pieces when it ended. Much as it pains me to admit it, I can't blame him for it. We ended as 'friends', but when you live something as intense as what we had, staying in touch is the last thing you need: it doesn't allow you to heal. I still think of him sometimes, wonder if he is happy, if he thinks of me.

... and I'm rambling. Sorry.

What I'm trying to say is: even if it ended, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Yes, yes I would.