evergreen

Love soft as an easy chair
Love fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you

Like a rose under the april snow
I was always certain love would grow
Love ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two

You and I will make each night a first
Every day a beginning
Spirits rise and their dance is unrehearsed
They warm and excite us, cause we have the brightest love

Two lives that shine as one
Morning glory and midnight sun
Time weve learned to sail above
Time wont change the meaning of one love
Ageless and ever evergreen

Cus this is what i do when im bored.

i can't let you go.
no no i can't let you go.
I can't let my emotions flow.
I'm still in control.
I will not lose control.
I've lost myself.
Drowned who i was in your shadows.
I'm maintaining my ground.
Stand your ground!
Stand your ground!
I'll not let you sweep me over.
Oh wait you've already swept me off my feet.

Hold on tight, It's going to be one hell of a ride.
Stay with me, be with me.
I won't let go off you.
We will be two.
I shall not part from you, i'm still here with you
Waves and currents, pull us apart.
Our emotions are in charge here.
We are merely pawns

This soul is for rent.
This is not ours.
This is temporary.
We will lose ourselves again.

Mystical Trans_Aura

Fields and flowers
Lions and rats
Birds and Butterflies
Pigs and Sloths

Tanks and Jets
Cars and Boats
We run from Goats
To be free from the jolts
that crash on us from above.

We're violent and full of emotions
Where's the devotion, and transmotion?
Do we live to evoke transmissions
through out the cells of benediction
constantly trapped in the cycle of creation.

Our sight is eclipsed by uncertainty and
we yearn for the farmiliar,
We are afraid of change,
Gripped by fear of the unknown
Doomed to suffer if we do not change.

Storms and Fire
War and Fights
Rage and Plagues

Why the hate?
Why the hate?

Leave it all to fate.
Cus i hate the hate.
Stop the hate.

Pop your head like me

Everyone's always unhappy about something. Always unhappy about this or that never satisfied, never content, never thankful, never truly appreciated what they have in life and how fortunate they are. Never.

We're materialistic and pathetic,
We are over fed, spoilt and greedy.
We whine and cry and get upset over mote
We want more
We are always a-bore
We are the world
We are 2010
We are human.
This is who we are.

Sydney, its a very pretty city, its one of the cities i wouldn't mind living in you know. Beautiful, beautiful architecture, very European in its design but very diverse in its origins. I was walking the back alleyways of the town and it felt like Spain, stone pathways with arches present in the buildings made it really really cool. Once i emerged from the alleys it felt like paris, with the shops and the mannequins dressed in high priced designer clothes, walking down further and it felt like new york with the Sydney bridge emerging out from the city skyline ( and if u you played gta iv before even more so) it was breathtaking. Walking then to the peer revealed the Sydney bridged and the Sydney opera house, it was beautiful with the blue water against the suburbs in the distance. Not to mention there are like a high amount of hot woman around, asians and ang mohs rofl. Nice city, although navigating through the fucking city is like a maze. err what else should i say? er ok lets rate the shit up. Singapore is a 7/10 city, because i grew up there im biased i love it its home, truly, thats what my senses tell me anyway. Sydney would be an 8.5/10 only because the cost of living there is mad, really mad parking in town for an hour cost 12 bucks it was insane imagine the cost of food ;/ and christchurch would be a 7/10 its pretty but its not developed enough.

so im coming back to Sg gotta save save save.

manic

Hypomania and Mania in Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar mania, hypomania, and depression are symptoms of bipolar disorder. The dramatic mood swings of bipolar disorder do not follow a set pattern. Depression does not always follow mania. A person may experience the same mood state several times -- for weeks, months, even years at a time -- before suddenly having the opposite mood. Also, the severity of mood phases can differ from person to person.

Hypomania is a less severe form of mania. Hypomania is a mood that many don't perceive as a problem. It actually may feel pretty good. You have a greater sense of well-being and productivity. However, for someone with bipolar disorder, hypomania can evolve into mania -- or can switch into serious depression.

The experience of these manic stages has been described this way:

Hypomania: At first when I'm high, it's tremendous ... ideas are fast ... like shooting stars you follow until brighter ones appear... . All shyness disappears, the right words and gestures are suddenly there ... uninteresting people, things become intensely interesting. Sensuality is pervasive, the desire to seduce and be seduced is irresistible. Your marrow is infused with unbelievable feelings of ease, power, well-being, omnipotence, euphoria ... you can do anything ... but somewhere this changes.

Mania: The fast ideas start coming too fast and there are far too many ... overwhelming confusion replaces clarity ... you stop keeping up with it … memory goes. Infectious humor ceases to amuse. Your friends become frightened ... everything is now against the grain ... you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and trapped.

If you have three or more of the mania symptoms below most of the day -- nearly every day -- for one week or longer, you may be having a manic episode of bipolar disorder:

Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement
Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile
Restlessness, increased energy, and less need for sleep
Rapid talk, talkativeness
Distractibility
Racing thoughts
High sex drive
Tendency to make grand and unattainable plans
Tendency to show poor judgment, such as deciding to quit a job
Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity -- unrealistic beliefs in one's ability, intelligence, and powers; may be delusional
Increased reckless behaviors (such as lavish spending sprees, impulsive sexual indiscretions, abuse of alcohol or drugs, or ill-advised business decisions)
Some people with bipolar disorder become psychotic, hearing things that aren't there. They may hold onto false beliefs, and cannot be swayed from them. In some instances, they see themselves as having superhuman skills and powers -- even consider themselves to be god-like.

You don't love me the way i love you

But you don't love me the way that, I love you
'cause if you did girl you would not, do those things you do
You killed my heart just to see if, I will rise
Above your anger and above your lies

And all I see of you, is when you're not so busy
Oh your not so busy

And you don't love me the way that, I love you
'cause if you did boy you would not, do the things you do
You turned my life around, before that I am glad
However much I love you this love is getting bad

And oh my darling look at you
The words that only you could use
But you no you'll always be my girl, girl
I'll take you out just for a bite
Show you all the city sites
But you know you'll always be my girl, girl

But you don't love me the way that, I love you
'cause if you did boy you would not, do those things you do
You killed my heart just to see if, I will rise
Above your anger and above your lies

And all I see of you, is when you're not so busy
Oh your not so busy

But you don't love me you don't care, woman
And you don't love me you don't care, woman
'Cause you don't love me you don't care, woman
if you don't love me you don't care, woman
Oh woman

I'm just a little Unwell

Matchbox 20- Unwell (LYRICS)

:D

paiseh lar, i just needed to post this lol.
:D

My Life's gone out of track

I'm not wrong am I?
Help.
Help.
I yelp.
For i feel
the desire to
belt up my self




focus

Let Loose.

So today, Kristie said, your blog is always emo.

Yeah i can't really say no , cause the reason why i have this blog here is because i'm too shy to ask for help or talk to anyone because i can't. I don't like to appear weak and dependent cause deep down inside i have to keep up this strong and hard appearance. The guy who's so macho and brave and strong at heart full of himself and emotionless.  I basically pour out everything i would never say in real life into this blog. It's really my diary and the fact that i let people read my diary is like A REALLY BIG THING! Well yeah. I have yet to find that person that i can basically just tell EVERY SINGLE little detail to without feeling guilty or weak. And it really helps to be able to read the stuff i think about and look through it and come up with points on how to better myself.. ya right..

So Yeah, i really really know i have a split personality and i can get really extremely high at one point and super low the next minute. Bi Polar? Am i suffering from bipolar? Cos today i got really quiet and started walking alone and thinking really hard and long for a while letting my mind wander and stuff, i was in a daze i started walking backwards and felt extremely agitated irritated and annoyed. Pissed and down right fucked up.

The next moment i'm all high, dancing and talking smack and shit running my mouth really fast and loud, popping out all my different accents and doing weird shit, not being able to walk straight and slipping. Getting my tongue tied. Estatic about nothing. I fucking hate it when i feel like this. I can't control myself my sub conscious tells me to stop and behave myself, but i can't do anything. I start pulling my hair and cracking my head trying to get a grip on reality and stay straight. It's insane i tell you. I'm suffering deep down inside i'm sick in the head i'm mental. I'm delusional, i'm out of control. I need medical help, i need professional help but i can't seek one out of fear, i don't want people to think i'm some kind of sicko psycho mental kid. I just want to be fucking normal. 

I feel really shit about today, about the way i act, behaved and the things i said today. I'm really sorry Kristie. Damn sorry i fucked things up tonight. This is probably the first time you see me this way i hope it'll be the last. I wanted to leave halfway, go home but i couldn't cause there was no bus and i really think cabbing home is a total waste of money. I desperately tried talking myself into leaving. I don't want you to see me this way when i'm all fucked up, it's not nice. I don't want ANYONE to see me when i behave that way to be honest. I hope what i did today doesn't affect anyway you think of me. Ya? 

Fuck lar 

srsly.

i rly rly feel damn fucked up now.

I want you bad, you bad

I'm the boy who pursues you. The one who wants to make an ordinary moment seem magical; the kind of boy who wants to bring out the best in you and make you want to be a better person. The boy who wants to be your best friend, the person who will drop everything to be with you at any time of the day no matter what the circumstances are. I am the boy who wants to make you smile like no other boy makes you smile, and when i smile you know i need you. I am the boy who wants to show you off to the world when you are sweating and have no makeup on, but i will appreciate it when you get all dolled up for me. And most of all i want to put you at the centre of my universe, because obviously you're at the centre of mine.

So why do you not want me?
What's wrong with me?
= \
Just got to let loose.

She Was Mine

It's only Physically but know that you'll be on my mind, 24 hours all the time.
Cause in my eyes you were mine.
No matter where you go
I wont be very far
Cause in my head you'll be right there where you are.
Cause Love has no distance baby.
Not when it comes to you and me.

But in my eyes,she's still mine
I know it sounds so stupid to be waiting this long
But i'm still in love, and i know i'm not wrong
Cause in my eyes, she was mine.

You Were Mine
But Only in my Mind.