Bitch, don't even.

Stupid fucking coward.

Even when I try to make amends (or whatever), you just shrug me off.

You give me shit for not caring, and not trying?

Well, look who’s not trying now.

You call me a hypocrite about judging people but I hate being judged…

actually, let’s clarify that first:

I don’t judge people; I’ve spent countless hours observing people’s behavior which, combined with my intuition (The N in INTJ, hurr durr), makes it easy to see what kind of person someone really is. I don’t just base things off of superficial qualities.

And for the second part…

I don’t like being judged, because it’s exactly what I described above: people base their half-assed opinions by what I look like. Scroll down the page and you’ll see that most of the questions (or lack there of) are asking why I ‘dress like a boy’ or that I’m ‘mean and scary’.

Bitch, you haven’t even scratched the surface.

Also, I’d like to address, since there was that (non)question, mentioning my constant bringing-up of the fact that I’m an INTJ…

I take that shit very seriously, because it’s probably the best description of my personality that one can get without actually talking to me.

So instead of saying that it’s just bullshit, why don’t you look it up?

I will keep bringing it up if you try to belittle or berate me for my actions in any way, so regardless of what you call it, it’s what I am.

And frankly, as INTJs make up approximately 1-3% of the world’s population, I’d say that makes me pretty damn awesome, not to mention, superior. Deal with it.

Now, where was I…

Ah yes.

You call me a hypocrite because I judge people, and even though you’ve known me for [insert time frame here], that doesn’t mean a thing.

Funny enough, I think the only person that I’ve ever met (so far) that completely understands who I am is my mother.

Why?

Because she’s an INTJ too.

We always end up talking about how we like being alone and don’t like the fact that my sister constantly needs to be around people.

So before you don your ‘holier-than-thou’ pseudo-identity, remember that no matter how smart you think you are, you don’t know me.

Chances are, you never will.

Why?

Because you just give up after [insert time frame here], because you’ve come to the ever-so-educated conclusion that I’m selfish, insensitive, and all that junk.

Maybe I just seem that way because I’m not a simple little fucker like you want me to be.

If you can’t deal with that, well, as everyone says,

It’s your loss.

Well the question I think you’re asking is which personality type in the most compatible with the INTJ. That would be the ENFP.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Extroverted? Feeling? Are you kidding me right now?” I was equally disbelieving at first, but let’s start with the facts.

INTJ Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Thinking
Tertiary: Introverted Feeling
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing

ENFP Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

We are attracted to personalities that share the same dominant function (in this case, Intuition,) but use it in a different way. ENFPs use all the same functions as INTJs, in almost the same order, but attitudes of those functions (introverted vs. extroverted) are switched, so they think in very similar patterns but about very different things.

ENFPs also have this almost psychic ability to read people, and INTJs give very little information for the outside observer. What this means is that ENFPs are one of the only types to actually pick up on the importance of the few subtle clues INTJs do give off. It’s actually a little alarming at first. They notice INTJs, and not only that, they find them incredibly interesting. Much like an INTJ is constantly searching for things they find intellectually stimulating, ENFPs are always looking for people they find challenging. It’s the kind of puzzle they like to solve, and an INTJ fits the bill perfectly.

So what does this mean in a practical sense? The ENFP will make the INTJ talk — they might even become downright social when it comes to their ENFP — and the INTJ will make the ENFP think. Their similar thought processes make conversation incredibly easy, and they bring out the best in each other. It’s just a sort of magical, instant understanding that’s incredibly difficult to find, especially for INTJs.

ENTPs are also very well suited for INTJs, because their functions are Ne Ti Fe Si (identical to INTJs but opposite attitude,) however, since they’re both Thinking types, it’s difficult for them to connect on an emotional level. They’ll connect brilliantly in every other way, but since neither are Feeling types, they’ll both circle away from emotional situations. They’ll get there eventually, given enough time, but it won’t be as instant or easy as with an ENFP.

As far as who has the most in common, that would obviously be a fellow INTJ. INTJs rarely team up with each other, however, since neither is the type to instigate a social situation, and they don’t play well with others.

Which type adores the INTJ most? In my experience, that’s ISFJs. This rarely works out well, though (not that it can’t. One of my best friends is an ISFJ.) ISFJs get a major case of hero worship around INTJs, and INTJs are just narcissistic enough to let the ISFJ stroke their ego. INTJs have a certain intensity that draws the ISFJ in. To the ISFJ, the INTJ is that smooth, debonair, I-wear-my-sunglasses-at-night action hero. They have a quiet confidence and control over their emotions that certain, less secure ISFJs envy.

The problem is, INTJs are not masters over their emotions; they just don’t experience emotion the same way Feeling types do. The ISFJ will enter the relationship thinking that if they just stick around long enough, if they just try hard enough, then they’ll eventually break through to the INTJs warm, gooey center.

Now, INTJs are many things, but warm and gooey are not among them. Underneath their cool, calm exterior is simply a cool, calm interior. Their emotions are just a small chip on their massive hard drive. ISFJs will get frustrated and think that the INTJ is stubbornly refusing to open up to them. They will take this personally. Either that, or they’ll assume the INTJs shallow emotions are the result of some sort of psychological damage and insist that the INTJ needs help.

Because INTJs are bad at predicting the emotional responses of others, and since the ISFJ has strong emotional reactions, but is rarely forthcoming with the details, the INTJ will hurt the ISFJ’s feelings without ever realizing it, and won’t understand why their ISFJ is suddenly angry and passive-aggressively sniping at them.

In turn, the INTJ will become incredibly frustrated by the fact that their ISFJ, because of their introverted nature and the tendency of Feeling types to use veiled language, won’t just say what they’re thinking (“No, you said ‘we’re out of milk.’ If you wanted me to pick some up on the way home you should have asked me to pick some up on the way home!”)

That said, any type can have a healthy, satisfying relationship with any other type. You just have accept them for who they are, not who you would like them to be.



INTJs are very independent. We like engaging in a good argument, especially when the other person can express their opinions intelligently. Other people are sometimes threatened by our opinions, and we can come off as critical or condescending. INTJs are frequently high achievers. We thrive in environments where we are intellectually challenged and our work is fairly evaluated. The flip side is that we often stress ourselves out over meeting the impossibly high standards we’ve set for ourselves. We’re often perfectionists, and this can create a lot of stress and feelings of self-doubt. Breaking through an INTJ’s shell can often seem difficult for other people, so close friendships and relationships can be a challenge. INTJ females, in particular, can be very intimidating to the opposite sex because we place such a high value on intelligence and independence.



I hate when my family and friends think it’s a bad thing that I’m “un-sociable.” Um, no. I just don’t like talking to people when there is nothing to talk about. Small talk makes me itch. “But how will you make new friends if you don’t make an effort to talk to people?!” I have friends, thank you very much. I’m not dying from lack of social interaction. And besides, the majority of people my age are…well… :|




The Mastermind (INTJ) is very focused as well, but more on an internal vision. They are good at solving problems and like to work on tough intellectual puzzles. They are often led into technical positions such as scientific researcher, design engineer, environmental planner. The developing field of genetics benefits from their intensity as does the field of medicine. In education they are most often found at the college and university level. In the professions, they may be a lawyer, a business analyst, or strategic planner. Some have a strong artistic/creative bent and may become an artist, inventor, or designer. Whatever they do, they do it with intensity. Says Kim, “I am constantly teaching myself something new in order to solve the problems that I encounter. My husband leaves me alone when he sees that I am caught in what he calls my “Thinking Time.” I’m unwinding knots even in my sleep.”



“Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality.” (Anyone who has seen me try to buy anything knows this.)

Damn Fucking Straight.





Does your INTJ like you?

Fuckin’ wow.

I’ve never felt so objectified in my entire life.

“Well, you don’t like me as more that a friend, so we just won’t be friends at all, k?”

That makes sense, doesn’t it?

Here’s a little lesson for you god damn motherfucking KIDDIES out there.

Here’s my list of ways to tell if an INTJ likes you (And if they don’t)

If they give you any positive attention whatsoever, you can consider them your friend; if they mock you in a way that’s intentionally hurtful, and in a way that makes everyone else laugh at you, they probably don’t like you.
If they disregard your flaws, especially if you’re really fucking irritating about how you’re better than everyone (Including the INTJ), then they might consider you a close friend; if they inform you of this flaw every time you’re within close vicinity, they probably don’t like you whatsoever.
If they come out of their mind when you start talking or because they have an interesting idea they want to share, and proceed to pay attention to you no matter what, they probably like you a lot; if they just say “uh huh” or nod whenever you’re droning on about your shitty life, don’t confuse that with interest. They’re just being polite.
If you ask if they like you as more than a friend and they tell you that they don’t feel like telling you, they probably don’t. If they say anything like that, don’t bring it up again, ever. You will piss them off, and that will ruin any chance you may have had with them, since you called them selfish and blamed your insecurities. Fucking baby.

-

Again, that’s the short version. Be grateful that I shared at all.

enfp depression

3 minutes right after feeling heavily fucking depressed about an epiphany. Had to record the moment, for future analysis. If only a picture would reveal a deeper exploration of the mind.
It's like an onion, layers and layers of knowledge hidden deep away within my subconcious and everyday I discover something great about myself, balanced by an extremely negative view of the world i operate within my head.

Don't get me wrong, this year's been amazing I've learnt so much from being away from people. It's incredible, like i'm finally recharging after years of being drained and used. I can only ever be myself when no one else is around. It's the only time there is no risk of intimidating anyone.

Why? i don't know why that is, when i'm forced to be within a group of people and deal with a conversation I rarely say anything, instead I just stand and stare nodding in agreement/disagreement. People find it weird or strange. I understand I'm hard to talk to, I prefer to talk about something relevant. If it's a must it has to be something which can lead to an intense debate or argument instead of small talk. I have no interest in what people have to say about their stupid observations. I don't have much to say, the topic eventually dies fast and it gets extremely akward to the point where i'd rather not have said anything at all.

I move around with a "stay the fuck away from me" expression on my face without realizing it. It's more to do with the fact that I'm always deep in thought and less because I always consciously think "don't talk to me". People often look at me and think i'm lowering their self image during our encounter; apparently i appear to be radiating signals of "silent criticism", as if i'm picking them to pieces inside my head, and without mercy. -

iNteresting, observation - I seem to be better able to express myself under tremendous amounts of pressure and self controlled emotions. To begin with, my epiphany had nothing to do with me, but more of someone I was thinking about. Look how far I've strayed in a bid to release all these pent up frustrations within me. Sure I've got a blog that no one reads, what's the point? It's become more of my notebook where i keep notes I've taken an interest to. i don't even make it a point to allow people within me. And the only person I know that's holding the key to unlocking me isn't who I thought would have been.

took me 4 years to finally open myself up to my friend, an ENTP. Yet I don't even consider this person my bestfriend, no this is not who i was thinking about, just thought i'd mention it.

I think about things i really don't want to know. It's really random.
Sometimes I feel like a little lost child, sometimes I feel like the chosen one and Sometimes i wonder why I was ever born.

(25 minutes afterwards, lol shit i've written an entire self analysis, lol i'll probably delete this for fear of exposing myself to people. Being anonymous is good sometimes.)
yes i feel much better now after getting all that out.

Another thing which the Myers Briggs Type Indicator will teach is to just pay more attention to people and their personality. When you try to read a person you are paying close attention to them, you're trying to fit every action into the mbti theory by considering the "why" behind the action. This will really improve your awareness of personality. I can remember I was asked to say something bad and something great about all my friends a couple of years ago, and I just was unable to do that. Nowadays I can make whole lists of strengths and weaknesses of the people I know. I think I know their value's and how they use them. I think I know their identity and views of life. I'm sometimes wrong, but at least I'm aware and trying. In other words I went from people blind to a human behavior analyzer all thanks to the awareness Myers Briggs gave me.

Another thing what no feeler would do is argue about something serious for fun, when you see somebody do that you know it´s very likely that they are a thinker.

I believe in "talent".

The way the brain is developed, neuronal pools interact and are "wired" throughout childhood and can conceivably influence how easy it is for someone to perform a certain task or cognitive function.

For example, your mother/father/nanny played a lot of music for you in your infancy and toddler years. You may develop a keen ear for music, or perhaps you spontaneously started dancing and have excellent rhythm and become a dancer later in life.

Someone that picks up these interest later in life, well after the brain has been "hard-wired", will not be able achieve the same results as you as easily. They certainly can become great musicians or dancers through hard work and effort. But they will envy your "natural talent" for music, dancing, whatever.

You look at people like Mozart, Tiger Woods and people of their ilk. They are trained from birth, groomed to excel in their given fields, and they did so. Yes, with hard work, no doubt, but no one can doubt that they made it look incredibly easy, effortless even, because their "talent", or neuronal "wiring" lends them such an enormous advantage.

Those with a "talent" for a certain skill or cognitive function, I believe, will also have a higher "ceiling". Hard work can take you far, but not as far as someone that has both worked hard, and has enormous amounts of natural talent.

I agree with Nathan in that I reject the idea that someone can do something to the highest level of excellence without hard work. But "talent" exists in my opinion.



I would personally love to talk and talk and jibber jabber all day long. Unfortunately, the only time someone wants to do that is if it's a bunch of boring and pointless subjects. I once talked for hours about one of my passions with a work associate. And we never dipped into the weather or small talk nonsense. We just kept going and going like that stupid bunny. Imagine a world of INTJ's who talked to each other about relevant and interesting subjects all the time. Would that make us extroverted or would we just be a bunch of super comfy introverts?


TOP TEN MYTHS ABOUT INTROVERTS

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Stories are as old as mankind but it seems we never get tired of hearing them. I’m always interested in hearing or reading authentic stories about people, their personality preferences, their careers, their strengths, and their challenges. From talking with people, writing books and facilitating courses I’ve learned that stories can communicate ideas that are otherwise difficult to explain.

It’s relatively easy to find descriptions of the 16 personality types, but more difficult to find websites that share the voices of people with different preferences. In my next series of posts, I offer a few quotes from people who share specific personality types.

People who have preferences for ISTJ or ISFJ personality type share a common core process of Introverted Sensing, sometimes referred to as Si; a reflective approach focused on gathering and organizing in-depth information gained from experience or trusted factual resources. I call them Assimilators and use the words Specialize and Stabilize to describe their characteristic approach.

I was thinking about my own sexuality today and I’ve decided to write this because I think it might apply to other INTJ’s. When I’m talking about sexuality I am talking not just about rubbing genitals together, I am talking about a Shakespearian sexuality. What I mean by this is the kind of sexuality that is linked to the passions that move the “soul”. The kind of sexuality that is both personal and humane. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about now, perhaps you will by the end of this post.

When I like something, I analyze that thing to death. I take it apart and put it back together again because I want to understand how it works. I’m sure most other INTJ’s know exactly what I’m talking about.

I have found that this same analysis / obsession / dissection also takes place in my romantic-sexual life. When I like someone I put them under a microscope and analyze them just like I would any other subject. I want to know them and understand them, to take them apart and see what makes them tick. This process also has a way of exposing faults, contradictions, and vulnerabilities in the other person. For some odd reason most people seem to struggle against this. Sexually this same thing comes out and the penis becomes a scalpel for dissection of the woman. It’s part of the ‘understanding’ my nature drives me to seek in the other person. I think this intensity and this curiosity is just too much for most people to be on the receiving end of.

Perhaps this is why ENFP’s seems to like us so much. Perhaps the INTJ’s intensity of analysis is somehow complimented by, and maybe matches, the ENFP’s intensity of passion. I suspect that the ENFP understands that what the INTJ is doing is a form of affection, and maybe they even like the attention.

Anyone who has been in a relationship with an INTJ should chime in too, for the perspective from the other side.






Nobody really likes to be the white mouse, so you would get nervous if you can experience the tools that extract information about you. We are happier living in a strange equilibrium of two sides, secretly thinking that they know the other person better, and at the same time honestly respecting the (relatively) inexplicable capability of the other side to know us. To remind you, ENFPs, exactly like INTJs, hate to be under someone's control, and are too free-spirited. The balance of healthy misunderstanding keeps each side under the impression that it has the control, and the other side doesn't, when in fact, the control is mixed up in a good bond.

Boredom is a problem of any relationship, but characters like INTJ and ENFP have also the ability to re-invent their partner, i.e. to influence each other to grow in new directions and become interesting again. As long as this is mutual, the system can be self-sustainable.

Haha I don't think that an ENFP could get bored with an INTJ, especially in a relationship scenario. You guys are way too much of a 'challenge' for us ENFPs to take on (as in getting you to open up to us, etc) for us to get bored. I guess maybe if the INTJ did not give in to our silly ENFP ways for a really long time it would end in some sort of stale mate....although I bet the ENFP would still every now and then retry to 'crack' the INTJ. Also you guys are WAY too interesting and indulge us in our curiosity way too much for us to get 'bored.' I also love all the awesome ideas/theories that you guys are constantly cooking up in your heads . Also, I love learning about new things and I find that being with an INTJ (my boyfriend is one ) exposes me to new ideas every day. So, in order for an ENFP to somehow finally get bored with an INTJ I think that they would have to never let the ENFP into that amazing mind.

Also, to say something about the topic at hand I agree with what enWTFp said about us analyzing INTJs in our own ENFP way. I am constantly analyzing people and noticing what they do, especially those close to me. I have a bad habit of constantly over-deconstructing each social situation and trying to find the 'reasons' or feelings, really behind each person's action(s.) Even moreso I like to stipulate on possible situations that could arise and this stipulating is never ending! (I guess I can thank my P for that, huh?) But anyway, now that I have again gotten off topic I think that INTJs provide an endless amount of analyzing for ENFPs because you guys are so complicated and mysterious (and awesome!) Once an ENFP begins to 'de-code' their INTJ a little they start to feel very close to them, feel very special that their INTJ has let them in (even if only a little) and this I think adds to the deep sexual satisfaction on the ENFPs side. It's (obviously) harder for me to speak for the INTJ side but maybe the unexpectedness of letting someone in (as one does in a relationship) and getting close to someone they are attracted to (as opposed to a friend) leads to the satisfaction they experience in sexual fulfillment (of a relationship.) I think that the INTJ/ENFP relationship is perfect for fulfilling both the INTJ and ENFP in the ways I have listed above. Hope that was relevant to the post, I'm bored in class and I kind of went off on a disorganized tangent in true ENFP style, haha

Once INTJs find a true friend, they keep them. To everyone in my life who I've met that I've considered a true friend, I've made it a point to either still be friends with them, or if we've drifted apart, to keep tabs on them. It may seem like the INTJ may want to discard their partner or friend once they have nothing more to learn from them, but INTJs don't consider true friends to be tools. An INTJ discards something if they no longer have any use for it, and have no attachment. I think the ENFP-INTJ relationship is really good because they both bring out a side of each other that wouldn't normally come out, so that helps both sides develop, so that keeps things entertaining.