I was thinking about my own sexuality today and I’ve decided to write this because I think it might apply to other INTJ’s. When I’m talking about sexuality I am talking not just about rubbing genitals together, I am talking about a Shakespearian sexuality. What I mean by this is the kind of sexuality that is linked to the passions that move the “soul”. The kind of sexuality that is both personal and humane. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about now, perhaps you will by the end of this post.

When I like something, I analyze that thing to death. I take it apart and put it back together again because I want to understand how it works. I’m sure most other INTJ’s know exactly what I’m talking about.

I have found that this same analysis / obsession / dissection also takes place in my romantic-sexual life. When I like someone I put them under a microscope and analyze them just like I would any other subject. I want to know them and understand them, to take them apart and see what makes them tick. This process also has a way of exposing faults, contradictions, and vulnerabilities in the other person. For some odd reason most people seem to struggle against this. Sexually this same thing comes out and the penis becomes a scalpel for dissection of the woman. It’s part of the ‘understanding’ my nature drives me to seek in the other person. I think this intensity and this curiosity is just too much for most people to be on the receiving end of.

Perhaps this is why ENFP’s seems to like us so much. Perhaps the INTJ’s intensity of analysis is somehow complimented by, and maybe matches, the ENFP’s intensity of passion. I suspect that the ENFP understands that what the INTJ is doing is a form of affection, and maybe they even like the attention.

Anyone who has been in a relationship with an INTJ should chime in too, for the perspective from the other side.






Nobody really likes to be the white mouse, so you would get nervous if you can experience the tools that extract information about you. We are happier living in a strange equilibrium of two sides, secretly thinking that they know the other person better, and at the same time honestly respecting the (relatively) inexplicable capability of the other side to know us. To remind you, ENFPs, exactly like INTJs, hate to be under someone's control, and are too free-spirited. The balance of healthy misunderstanding keeps each side under the impression that it has the control, and the other side doesn't, when in fact, the control is mixed up in a good bond.

Boredom is a problem of any relationship, but characters like INTJ and ENFP have also the ability to re-invent their partner, i.e. to influence each other to grow in new directions and become interesting again. As long as this is mutual, the system can be self-sustainable.

Haha I don't think that an ENFP could get bored with an INTJ, especially in a relationship scenario. You guys are way too much of a 'challenge' for us ENFPs to take on (as in getting you to open up to us, etc) for us to get bored. I guess maybe if the INTJ did not give in to our silly ENFP ways for a really long time it would end in some sort of stale mate....although I bet the ENFP would still every now and then retry to 'crack' the INTJ. Also you guys are WAY too interesting and indulge us in our curiosity way too much for us to get 'bored.' I also love all the awesome ideas/theories that you guys are constantly cooking up in your heads . Also, I love learning about new things and I find that being with an INTJ (my boyfriend is one ) exposes me to new ideas every day. So, in order for an ENFP to somehow finally get bored with an INTJ I think that they would have to never let the ENFP into that amazing mind.

Also, to say something about the topic at hand I agree with what enWTFp said about us analyzing INTJs in our own ENFP way. I am constantly analyzing people and noticing what they do, especially those close to me. I have a bad habit of constantly over-deconstructing each social situation and trying to find the 'reasons' or feelings, really behind each person's action(s.) Even moreso I like to stipulate on possible situations that could arise and this stipulating is never ending! (I guess I can thank my P for that, huh?) But anyway, now that I have again gotten off topic I think that INTJs provide an endless amount of analyzing for ENFPs because you guys are so complicated and mysterious (and awesome!) Once an ENFP begins to 'de-code' their INTJ a little they start to feel very close to them, feel very special that their INTJ has let them in (even if only a little) and this I think adds to the deep sexual satisfaction on the ENFPs side. It's (obviously) harder for me to speak for the INTJ side but maybe the unexpectedness of letting someone in (as one does in a relationship) and getting close to someone they are attracted to (as opposed to a friend) leads to the satisfaction they experience in sexual fulfillment (of a relationship.) I think that the INTJ/ENFP relationship is perfect for fulfilling both the INTJ and ENFP in the ways I have listed above. Hope that was relevant to the post, I'm bored in class and I kind of went off on a disorganized tangent in true ENFP style, haha

Once INTJs find a true friend, they keep them. To everyone in my life who I've met that I've considered a true friend, I've made it a point to either still be friends with them, or if we've drifted apart, to keep tabs on them. It may seem like the INTJ may want to discard their partner or friend once they have nothing more to learn from them, but INTJs don't consider true friends to be tools. An INTJ discards something if they no longer have any use for it, and have no attachment. I think the ENFP-INTJ relationship is really good because they both bring out a side of each other that wouldn't normally come out, so that helps both sides develop, so that keeps things entertaining.