Always. I can put on my service face (from working with people) and "act" normal long enough for a quick exchange, but anything more than that people just don't know how to react. There is a level of intensity they just don't know how to deal with. Even long time friends react to it if I don't keep it suppressed.
Best I can tell it's my willpower. People just "feel" it and don't know what it is they feel. At least that comes from the few friends who have ever brought it up. Willpower and confidence are not the same. People are impressed by confidence, even if there is nothing to back it up. The average person has very little willpower, unless driven by an emotion, though they might have a ton of confidence. Anger or love has an exponential effect on an individual's willpower. Mine, however, I am constantly trying to suppress because I know it makes people feel uncomfortable.
The stronger the willpower of the person I am talking to, the less they seem to be affected, the more I can be myself. Typically that requires someone ten to fifteen years older than me, or another NT. Even then it's still a small number of people who don't feel intimidated.
That's just my opinion of it, anyway. It is at times infuriating because I can only ever be myself when no one else is around. It's the only time there is no risk of intimidating anyone.
I've noticed, too, that since I managed to piss off my ISFP "friend," she will hang with her little posse the entire time I'm at the barn - now this is someone who I've known for nearly 5 years, we've hung out numerous times, yet ONE time I'm honest with her about being upset about some stuff, and she is reacting like I've suddenly become an ax murderer. Apparently, if I'm not shoveling sunshine and daisies up her rather large ass, then I must be waiting in the shadows to launch a full on assault.
I don't warm up to people very quickly, but it's because I have had a tendency to piss people off rather quickly by either being too honest or sarcastic. Due to this track record, I tend to stick to the sidelines until I get comfortable around someone and they get to know me.
apparently I walk around with a "stay the fuck away from me" expression on my face without realizing it. It's more to do with the fact that I'm always deep in thought and less because I always consciously think "don't talk to me".
I once, quite randomly, said I could see a future as a hit man. Three friends in the room agreed immediately, without hesitation. They were not joking, or even lightly humorous, they were completely sincere. I was far more reactive to their lack of reaction than anything they responded with.
I was quite shocked. I could have picked up assassins r us and started looking for jobs and I don't think it would have phased them.
Months later I am still not sure what to think about it.
Years before another friend had a dream where I had gone on a rampage and was walking around with a sword in one hand and a duffle bag with the heads of all my other friends in the other.
More recently one of my friends had a dream where I was an evil sorcerer who could transform into a dragon, and was supposed to have met her much earlier in her life and was originally intended to control all of her life through dark magic.
I must affect their sub-conscious much more than it appears.
My closest INTJ friend, (I happen to be in an ideal environment for NTs to congregate), is intimidating.
The INTJ always has a condescending expression on his/her face, and says things in such a fashion, it feels you're a child being scolded for doing something wrong. [Considering what NTs value the most, the INTP feels guilty of stupidity.] INTJs can lower one's self-image during the encounter; they absolutely radiate signals of "silent criticism", as if they're picking you to pieces inside their heads, and without mercy.
Being a perceiver means that I'll spend a lot more time on one idea until it becomes incomprehensively abstract, whereas, INTJs seem to be more pragmatic. (As in they are happy to make conclusions about the inconclusive). This gets me nervous because I place a very high value on the way I play with ideas, and having them misinterpreted as concrete is something I try to avoid.
I'm right on the cusp for my T/F and J/P so on odd days I have had this effect on people. That makes it a whole lot easier to understand.
People usually find me intimidating. I don't know why that is. When a group of people are having a conversation I rarely say anything, instead I just stand and stare. I think people find it weird or strange.
I'm fairly hard talking to as I prefer to talk about something relevant. If I have to talk it has to be something which can lead to a heavy conversation instead of small talk. I find small talk unimportant, actually. I don't have much to say when it comes to that. The topic dies awfully fast and it gets awkward. Then I would rather dealing with saying nothing.
As long as you don't act like you know something you don't or make grand (all inclusive/exclusive) statements - you should be alright. Nothing fires us up like talking with someone who clearly has no clue what they're talking about. Not that it makes us mad - but it sure makes things fun for us =).
Other than that - yeah we look angry all the time I guess, but we sure protect our own (equip them before arguments, strategy before conflict/debates, and jump in if necessary to help out).
You want a good INTJ on your team, not "theirs" =P
Do I respond with typical snark here? Do you think we spend our days looking at people seeing how they can be used and they are of no benefit they are worthy only of our scorn?
Sometime it would be nice to engage in light banter with a peer, or be cool/suave when attempting to charm a member of the opposite sex.
Our failure in those areas comes more from our hardwiring, which in turn leads to a lack of a practice. This cycle reinforces itself. Most times when I sense people are unnerved by me while conversing; I think they believe I am being critical of them in my head. Instead my head is racing to find the most appropriate reply, examining how my reply could misinterpreted based up my tone, inflection, or double meanings. Then thinking about what the person could say in response to my response so that I have good odds of coming up with what, in my mind, is a suitable response to that.
This is an exhausting process.
Best I can tell it's my willpower. People just "feel" it and don't know what it is they feel. At least that comes from the few friends who have ever brought it up. Willpower and confidence are not the same. People are impressed by confidence, even if there is nothing to back it up. The average person has very little willpower, unless driven by an emotion, though they might have a ton of confidence. Anger or love has an exponential effect on an individual's willpower. Mine, however, I am constantly trying to suppress because I know it makes people feel uncomfortable.
The stronger the willpower of the person I am talking to, the less they seem to be affected, the more I can be myself. Typically that requires someone ten to fifteen years older than me, or another NT. Even then it's still a small number of people who don't feel intimidated.
That's just my opinion of it, anyway. It is at times infuriating because I can only ever be myself when no one else is around. It's the only time there is no risk of intimidating anyone.
I've noticed, too, that since I managed to piss off my ISFP "friend," she will hang with her little posse the entire time I'm at the barn - now this is someone who I've known for nearly 5 years, we've hung out numerous times, yet ONE time I'm honest with her about being upset about some stuff, and she is reacting like I've suddenly become an ax murderer. Apparently, if I'm not shoveling sunshine and daisies up her rather large ass, then I must be waiting in the shadows to launch a full on assault.
I don't warm up to people very quickly, but it's because I have had a tendency to piss people off rather quickly by either being too honest or sarcastic. Due to this track record, I tend to stick to the sidelines until I get comfortable around someone and they get to know me.
apparently I walk around with a "stay the fuck away from me" expression on my face without realizing it. It's more to do with the fact that I'm always deep in thought and less because I always consciously think "don't talk to me".
I once, quite randomly, said I could see a future as a hit man. Three friends in the room agreed immediately, without hesitation. They were not joking, or even lightly humorous, they were completely sincere. I was far more reactive to their lack of reaction than anything they responded with.
I was quite shocked. I could have picked up assassins r us and started looking for jobs and I don't think it would have phased them.
Months later I am still not sure what to think about it.
Years before another friend had a dream where I had gone on a rampage and was walking around with a sword in one hand and a duffle bag with the heads of all my other friends in the other.
More recently one of my friends had a dream where I was an evil sorcerer who could transform into a dragon, and was supposed to have met her much earlier in her life and was originally intended to control all of her life through dark magic.
I must affect their sub-conscious much more than it appears.
My closest INTJ friend, (I happen to be in an ideal environment for NTs to congregate), is intimidating.
The INTJ always has a condescending expression on his/her face, and says things in such a fashion, it feels you're a child being scolded for doing something wrong. [Considering what NTs value the most, the INTP feels guilty of stupidity.] INTJs can lower one's self-image during the encounter; they absolutely radiate signals of "silent criticism", as if they're picking you to pieces inside their heads, and without mercy.
Being a perceiver means that I'll spend a lot more time on one idea until it becomes incomprehensively abstract, whereas, INTJs seem to be more pragmatic. (As in they are happy to make conclusions about the inconclusive). This gets me nervous because I place a very high value on the way I play with ideas, and having them misinterpreted as concrete is something I try to avoid.
I'm right on the cusp for my T/F and J/P so on odd days I have had this effect on people. That makes it a whole lot easier to understand.
People usually find me intimidating. I don't know why that is. When a group of people are having a conversation I rarely say anything, instead I just stand and stare. I think people find it weird or strange.
I'm fairly hard talking to as I prefer to talk about something relevant. If I have to talk it has to be something which can lead to a heavy conversation instead of small talk. I find small talk unimportant, actually. I don't have much to say when it comes to that. The topic dies awfully fast and it gets awkward. Then I would rather dealing with saying nothing.
As long as you don't act like you know something you don't or make grand (all inclusive/exclusive) statements - you should be alright. Nothing fires us up like talking with someone who clearly has no clue what they're talking about. Not that it makes us mad - but it sure makes things fun for us =).
Other than that - yeah we look angry all the time I guess, but we sure protect our own (equip them before arguments, strategy before conflict/debates, and jump in if necessary to help out).
You want a good INTJ on your team, not "theirs" =P
Do I respond with typical snark here? Do you think we spend our days looking at people seeing how they can be used and they are of no benefit they are worthy only of our scorn?
Sometime it would be nice to engage in light banter with a peer, or be cool/suave when attempting to charm a member of the opposite sex.
Our failure in those areas comes more from our hardwiring, which in turn leads to a lack of a practice. This cycle reinforces itself. Most times when I sense people are unnerved by me while conversing; I think they believe I am being critical of them in my head. Instead my head is racing to find the most appropriate reply, examining how my reply could misinterpreted based up my tone, inflection, or double meanings. Then thinking about what the person could say in response to my response so that I have good odds of coming up with what, in my mind, is a suitable response to that.
This is an exhausting process.
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