It's been a while since I've posted something generally personal, so here goes i'm going to have a rant, simply because i'm starting to spill my emotions into facebook, which is unacceptable for my reputation as a confident young bright sucessfull man. har har har!

Okay, i fear i might be falling again. Falling in love with someone, i shall not say who, her identity will remain a secret and no amount of begging will reveal who she is. She holds a really special place in my heart and has been nothing but a blessing to my life, her personality is simply out of this world, no amount of words in my vocabulary could ever explain.  Her voice so sweet, so cheerful, feels like heaven to listen to she sounds like an angel; a wonderful creation of god, a blessing to mankind. The sight of her amazes me and puts my pounding heart to rest, her smile outshines the moon.

I've never met someone so optimistic about life and she has full confidence in me. I could speak to her for eternity, i'd spend eons and light years staring at her face and when i run out of things to say it's simply because the sight of her is sufficient enough to leave me speechless, she'll be there to continue the conversation. I feel like I'd never get bored. There's this warm feeling i get from just interacting with here and being with her even when we're sending each other messages through the phone or via facebook, I just can't help but smile at every little thing she says and when she giggles that's when my heart starts to melt.

Compliments set aside, there's just one thing that's wrong. We can never ever be together and there is no chance in hell for a potential serious relationship. It'll be unorthodoxed and morally incorrect if it were to ever happen. We might have a lot in common, thou it's foolish for me to say that after only knowing her for a couple of months. It's such a downer to know that I can never be with her, not because it's a one sided relationship but because she's way ahead of me. I'm not good enough for her, she needs a man not a foolish young boy like me. She'll need someone to take care of her, to support her financially, emotionally and mentally. I am not that person, and it will take me a long time before i ever reach that target and by then it would be too late. This relationship was doomed right from the start, a ship that'll never touch sea, cursed never to float and sail the oceans.

I'd love her with all my heart. I'd be there for her if I could to hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be alright. Assure her that there's better days to come. Comfort her when she crys and hug her. A look into her eyes and she'll know that I'll be there with her forever, I won't leave I'll stay and we'll overcome every hurdle and challenge in life.  We would walk across the beach at night staring deep into each other's eyes and smile at each other occasionally tightening the grip around our interlocked hands and laughing as the cool gentle breeze of the ocean brushes against our skin as the waves crash onto the shore and wet our feet. Life would be so easy for us. We'd take everything that life throws at us and turn it into eternal happiness and joy. Life would be amazing. Life would be a breeze. Life with you would be a dream come true. I just wish there would have been a possibility for such a thing to ever happen.

I love you sincierely with all my heart.
Mohamed Sahdique Caubang


oh fuck this is stupid.