Silence, i said Silence

It's been 3 days so far.
3 days after the holidays.
3 days of having a good look at her face again.
3 days of extreme agony and pain.
3 days of frustration.
3 days of rage
3 days of confusion.
3 days of akwardness.
3 days of school.
more importantly
3 days of silence.

Yes silence, she has not spoken a word to me yet. What I mean is basic conversation, she hasn't started a conversation with me at all. No, How was the Paper? No, How was your Holiday? No, Hi. No, Byes.
I have to start  a conversation with her all the bloody time and i always get short responses like, yeah okay it was alright. Then she turns around and starts talking animatedly to Furqan, going on and on and ranting about stuff, laughing out loud, giggling and hitting him and stuff. It hurts, it hurts to know that you do no wish to speak to me. I tried, i tried to talk to you. Don't call me a pussy, Fuck you. You're so childish Immature and so demanding, I cannot understand what the fuck you are trying to do? What the fuck do you want me from me? You have no idea how much pain i'm in every time i'm around you guys. I just end up pulling out my ear plugs and listening to a songs. It's way better than hearing conversations that i have no say in, I can't relate to you guys for shit.
I'd very much like to leave the group and hang out with other people in class but i cannot, it'll just make me look weak. I can't look weak i have my pride my ego. I can't lose face. And besides the whole fucking class is full of girls, Do you have any fucking idea how akward it would be for me to hang out with a bunch of girls all the bloody time? Exactly...
I'm tired. I'm fed up.
What the fuck do you want from me? What do you want me to do! I'm suffering every single minute in school.
I just want things to go back to the way they were before, at least it's much better than it is now. Looking at you is just so fucking akward. Why do you have to play mind games with me?